Not Losing Your VirginityThink back, way back, to when you were a spotty virgin.* It was all a bit overwhelming, wasn't it? I remember going to see a band as a teenager and standing behind a girl who I kinda liked, but who had been showing a lot of interest in a friend for the past week. She reached back and squeezed my leg.
I panicked. Brain decided that she'd clearly made a mistake and thought I was my friend: "Er, you've got the wrong bloke"
It was hours before I worked out what was going on.
So, tell us the stories of when you failed to lose your virginity - whether through your own ineptitude or simply because they scared the bejesus out of you.
* Apologies to spotty virgins out there. Wash.
(
chthonic, Fri 27 Oct 2006, 12:13)
« Go Back
The great wall of . . .Well, we were both 15, and had been dating for three months, and she says it's just time - she wants to "get it out of the way" and while it's still a "very serious endeavor" it's also "distracting" that the both of us are still virgins.
Right. So. Cue Cleese's "Meaning of Life" narration ("...and mount the woman. Like. So.")
There I am anticipating the sweet ecstasy foretold in fable and song, encountering instead a dead end, just three inches in.
Can't be right, no. We try again. But, really, there's an actual wall of flesh there. Virile teenage willy meets brick-and-mortar blood-and-bone (I was convinced it had a skeletal structure). It's not something I had the necessary equipment to penetrate. Though a less gentle, patient or sensitive man (such as her next boyfriend did three weeks later . . . and told me about) would have hammered away until victory, I said perhaps we needed to "go about it a different way". She took this as some sign of obscene kinkery and suddenly remembered needing to rush off home.
She dumped me a week later, had her masonry dismantled within a month, and by recent accounts is in a polyamorous quartet relationship that has weekly meetings in a nearby coffeeshop.
Took me until going away to college, where her rumors of my perversions could not follow.
(, Mon 30 Oct 2006, 20:06, Reply)
« Go Back