Sorry to Dissapoint.
But a couple of minutes after loosing my virginity at 15 All of my past experiences were instantly wiped from memory as I subconciously prepared for a life-time of shagging-meomories that I would want to remember.

Subsequently, I have no witty tale to tell. :o(

I did once shag a microwaved Water-Melon though.. I thought that the center would be nice and squishy and warm... it was warm. infact.. bloody HOT... and the speedy withdrawl brought tears to my eyes as the rather pointy pips/seeds that had moved out of the way as i entered it decided that they were goign to act as pointy ratchet-pawls on the way out.

So remember. When shagging water-melons:
1. Use a slow warm-up time: don't nuke it for 2 minutes at 900W: The core temp can scald your bell-end before you mange to react.
2. A meat thermometer (no, that's not slang for your cock) can be used to check core-temp.
3. Don't enter it along the core Axis. Infact.. Avoid the core altogether. It is the axis of pip-evil.. If you make your entry parallel to the core-axis, you can bore more holes and re-use the melon more than once.
4. If using a melon more than once as I suggest in step 2... don't come inside it: Microwaving 1-week-old come/melon-juice is... uncool.

Hmm... Got a little bit wierd there... :o/

IF you need to apologise for lack of length, try a cantaloupe: you con't need to buy a bowling-ball bag for the smaller melons and you won't need to convince your mum that you're a bowler.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Tue 31 Oct 2006, 10:07, Reply)