One thing I have most certainly never done
is jetted frothing gouts of foetid, watery diarrhoea from my tortured anus, in the bin cupboard of a block of council flats round the back of Old Street tube station at 7am after a night of curry and beer.

Which is lucky because that means that I didn't then need to wipe my tortured arse on my underpants and spend the whole day 'commando' afterwards, leaving me with a chafed bell-end. Phew.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 10:31, 1 reply)

Yeah, cos that would've been grim.
Allegedly...
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 16 Sep 2011, 11:30, closed)