Bit of wood
My best mate bought an air pistol when we were kids, and much fun was had shooting all the crap we could find. My parents let us shoot old records, ornaments etc. It was brilliant.

One day my dad went to his shed but soon came stomping back inside the house brandishing a bit of wood. Apparently someone had snapped his 'paint stirring stick' in half. He was convinced we'd shot it to bits. I spent hours arguing that we didn't do it, that we had better things to be shooting than a mangy old bit of wood and that, well, it was only a bit of wood. He maintained his rigid stance, banging on about the principle of it. The arguments lasted for weeks.

20 years later, Dad... if you're reading this: I DIDN'T FUCKING SNAP YOUR PAINT STIRRING STICK, SO STOP MENTIONING IT.

Sorry for the lack of mind-blowing twist. I really didn't snap the fucking thing. It was probably my brother.
( chart cat has an itch, Sun 18 Sep 2011, 9:47, 8 replies)

do all dads have a paint-stirring stick?
my dad has a bamboo stick for his paint-stirring
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 18 Sep 2011, 17:19, closed)

I bought one (yes, I know),
then promptly lost it.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 18 Sep 2011, 21:15, closed)

use one of those sticks
that prop plants up
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 18 Sep 2011, 22:24, closed)

I used them all
to prop up plants.

Wagane's offer is actually quite tempting, as it'll save me ruining a perfectly good screwdriver.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:39, closed)

I've got one
it's your's for £4.99 plus p&p
(Wagane, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 1:19, closed)

all dads need one
Personally I have a large stainless steel serving spoon thing that was obsolete when we got a new set of ladle-whisk-fishslice type implements.

There's holy hell if i'm decorating and can't find my saint spoon!
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Sun 18 Sep 2011, 22:06, closed)

apparently, they need sheds, too

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 18 Sep 2011, 22:24, closed)

Why
why did you snap his paint stirring stick?
( spingers, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 9:50, closed)