Come the apocalypse
I know how to knap flint to make blades ( or even glass bottles for the same purpose)
To survive in the wilderness, building a shelter out of twigs and leaves.
Trapping and preparing small mammals for food.
As well as knowing what plants, insects and fungi are edible.
Lighting a fire without using a match.
Navigating by starlight.
Turning a deerskin into usable leather
Tickling a trout.
Can make usable cordage from nettles.
Sharpen a knife using dried fungus

You may think these obsolete, but come the nuclear apocalypse who'll be the one surviving in a hidden Somerset valley, eh, eh?
Apologies to Smale for swiping the last paragraph and changing the location ;)

Is it a bit weird that I have a basic survival kit all packed and sitting in my loft ready to go when needed?
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Sat 2 Jul 2011, 1:13, 13 replies)

those last 6
make great euphemisms
( Clay hopes this bit is long enough to promote my websi, Sat 2 Jul 2011, 1:24, closed)

You had me until I read
"Can make usable condom from nettles"
Owww...
( kila is reading clocks upside-down as usual, Sat 2 Jul 2011, 6:31, closed)

Once you've gone nettle you never go back

(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 12:38, closed)

Ok
You I'll trade you some lead and dowsing skills for your leather and cordage. See you in Bristol.
(Smale is stuffed, Sat 2 Jul 2011, 6:45, closed)

I think Bristol will have vanished
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Sat 2 Jul 2011, 11:57, closed)

It's a bit pointless given that in the event of nuclear apocalypse Somerset will most likely be glowing in the dark and filled with mutated bacteria and viruses.
Because:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oldbury_nuclear_power_station
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berkeley_nuclear_power_station
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hinkley_Point_B_nuclear_power_station
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hinkley_Point_C_nuclear_power_station
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Porton_Down
Still, I'm sure that you can use your knowledge to comfort yourself as you're puking and shitting yourself inside out dying from radiation poisoning.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 2 Jul 2011, 7:51, closed)

shhhhh
We pretend they dont exist ;)
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Sat 2 Jul 2011, 11:56, closed)

You are Ray Mears..
AICMFP.
(danniekavanagh did nothing constructive on, Sat 2 Jul 2011, 12:07, closed)

Frayed knot
although he is mainly responsible for teaching me all this stuff
Bear Grylls....pffft
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 0:10, closed)

in your loft?!
you fool!

a) small kit on person at all times
b) medium kit in bag when out for the day
c) bug out bag near door
d) (optional) extended bug out bag in car.

do it properly! :D
(DreddPirateBob has watched every scifi film ever on, Sat 2 Jul 2011, 12:39, closed)

I stand corrected
And suitably chastised
although I dont drive or own a car
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 0:09, closed)

you make me feel SO much less paranoid

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 2 Jul 2011, 22:27, closed)

nuclear zombie
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 12:37, closed)