Hmph
I'm at work, all bored and horny.

Someone tell me something fun.

Please.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 19:18, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Sex.
Sex is fun.

If you're horny, get some sex. Sex, sex, sex.

Glad to help.

Edit: sex
( Kroney, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 19:27, Reply)

I concur
sex is the way forward.

Failing that, masturbation.

Or if you can't pull off (fnarr!) either of these, read through the Best of the old QOTWs. Always wastes some time for me :)
( SeasonTicketless is too often the statue, and rarely the pigeon., Fri 22 Aug 2008, 19:31, Reply)

wanking at work is not a crime
:two birds with one stone
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 19:31, Reply)

erm, thanks
I'll bear it in mind when I get home!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 19:32, Reply)

Oh but it's so much better
to wank while you're on the clock! You get paid to have sex with someone you love, and it's legal besides!

(Unfortunately I work with a load of engineers, so going to the bathroom for a wank is really not feasible- ever tried to wank while someone's farting their guts out three feet away from you?)
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 22 Aug 2008, 19:40, Reply)

Hello Mr Loon
No, I can't say I have...

I might wait until after the interval though.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 19:43, Reply)

Well, meanwhile
there are four stories that I've posted below. That should entertain you for a few minutes, anyway...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 22 Aug 2008, 19:50, Reply)