another metro story
whilst trying to find Ms Wipes tale in the Metro I came across this
www.metro.co.uk/news/article.html?Scorpions_on_the_loose_at_James_Bond_studios&in_article_id=403121&in_page_id=34

Basically, they have found a scorpion on the James Bond set in Buckinhamshire. (Scorpions have been over here for years and the one they found was probably a Yellow back, small and harmless.

But my favourite quote from the piece
"It was caught by one of our health and safety guys who put it in a lunchbox and gave it some lettuce" Mr Smith said.

Scorpion. Lettuce. Can any non-entomologist see what is wrong with this picture?
(smells-like-victory-v's, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 15:30, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

*twitches*
WHY ARE PEOPLE SO GOD-FUCKIN'-DAMN STUPID?
( Cawl, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 15:35, Reply)

Scorpions don't eat lettuce
slugs eat lettuce - pubs tell us this.

Scorpions are Egyptian kings - they must eat dates and falalallalalalafel.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 15:35, Reply)

I thought scorpions subsisted purely on a diet of
Gillian MacKeith's soiled knickers?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 15:38, Reply)

Because althegeordie
Egyptian kings are now shopping in Harrods for Ferrerrrroo Rocccchaay which they eat at the Ambassador's parties and then they take out princesses and kill them.

Really they're rather like British lorry drivers but with less prostitutes and more dates.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 15:40, Reply)

scorpions
*DAVID ATTENBOROUGH VOICEOVER*
"..and here we see the Yellowback scorpion, steathly creeping towards its defenceless prey, an iceberg lettuce."
"The scorpion sights it's prey, and" *DRAMATIC MUSIC* "strikes."
"within a few seconds its all over, the now twitching lettuce is quickly devoured and the cycle of life moves on"

the sting should have give it away.

EDIT: thanx chickenlady, the flora is now correct
(smells-like-victory-v's, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 15:43, Reply)

Icelandic lettuce?
My word.

Are they the ones which are nine-tenths underwater?

They'd need Jacques Cousteau to check them out or alternatively the Australian chappie who avoids stingrays..or should have done.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 15:45, Reply)

Al
you do that!

Especially if you're a princess...I did hear Bert saying that you were his princess, or did he say you were a queen? Can't remember.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 15:47, Reply)

Did it attack him?
Was it one of those killer lettuces? The ones that scorpions eat.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 15:49, Reply)

Why not?
People with perfectly good incisors go vegetarian.

(Personally, I didn't claw my way to the top of the food chain to sneak up on a leaf.)
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 14 Nov 2008, 15:54, Reply)

Why not?
Because Humans are omnivorous.
Scorpions are not only carnivores, they're specialised carnivores.
If you fed a scorpion on beef or chicken, it'd die of malnutrition.
( Cawl, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 15:55, Reply)

I've found scorpions in this country before
I didn't tell the newspapers

people suck

Kaol: we do have some species that live here right?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 16:02, Reply)

Kinda.
We're not meant to.
But there are some noted populations, yeah.

Also, we have something that looks like a scorpion, but isn't.
It's called a Pseudoscorpion. It's quite small, but fairly common.
( Cawl, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 16:05, Reply)

the one I found that sticks most on my mind
was about 5 cm long, not including tail and was a woody brown in colour

came out of a log pile

edit: definitely wasn't a pseudoscorpion :-)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 16:07, Reply)

Sounds about right
Given where you live.

Ten cryptozoology points to you!
( Cawl, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 16:10, Reply)

*High fives Al back*
erm....
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 16:32, Reply)