Two stories
One of them is not mine, but...

A friend is visiting another friend's elderly Irish mother. They are watching the telly, and on it is a wildlife program showing some zebras that had stopped at a wartering hole only to be attacked by a crocodile. The venerable lady's response to this was "Look at those poor ponies being eaten by them sharks" (somehow it works better if you try to say it with a broad Irish accent)

My grandmother (yes, I'm middle class enough to have a grandmother instead of a granny, nan etc.) on my mothers side is 93 and completely lucid, and a match for anyone mentally. Some years ago my mother was visiting her and her next door neighbours (let's call them Jeanette and Dougie for the sake of a little privacy) came round for a cup of tea. They chatted for a while, then Jeanette & Dougie stood up to leave, but just before setting off, Dougie said "Oh, I nearly forgot, you left these at our house last week" and handed my grandmother a pair of her knickers. Sometime later that day, my mother questioned this rather peculiar transaction, only to be told "Didn't you know dear? I've been having an affair with Dougie and Jeanette for years."

I'm dead proud of my grandmother - she's grand.
( fozberry, Fri 12 Mar 2004, 12:50, Reply)