Advice from Old PeopleSometimes, just sometimes, old people say something worth listening to. Ok, so it's like picking the needle out of a whole haystack of mis-remembered war stories, but those gems should be celebrated.
Tell us something worthwhile an old-type person has told you.
Note, we're leaving the definition of old up to you, you smooth-skinned youngsters.
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chthonic, Thu 19 Jun 2008, 16:16)
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Old Bull Vs Young Bull.
An old bull and a young bull were standing on the top of a hill when the young bull spotted a herd of cows away in the distance.
"Quick" he bellowed "Lets run down and fuck one of those cows"
The old bull looked at him and said:
"Why don't we walk down and fuck them all?"
Cheers
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Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 0:14,
3 replies)
A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says,'OK old boy , time for you to retire.'
The old rooster replies, 'Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?'
The young rooster says, 'Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over.'
The old rooster says, 'I tell you what, young stud . I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop.'
The young rooster laughs. 'You know you don't stand a chance, old man. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start.'
The old rooster takes off running About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farm-house and the young rooster has closed the gap.
He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast. The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by. The Old Rooster is squawking and running as hard as he can. The Farmer grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - he blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says,
'Dammit.....third gay rooster I bought this month.'
Moral of this story.... Don't mess with the old boys - age, skill, wisdom, and a little treachery will always overcome youth and arrogance.
(, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 0:22, closed)
Suprisingly, there is wisdom in both of those jokesAnd they are good jokes as well.
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flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Sat 21 Jun 2008, 2:55,
closed)
Took me a while to get itBut this one (shamelessly pillaged from Training Day) does have a wise message too:
One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to shit, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again.
So he says to it, 'What the fuck's your problem?'
(, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 8:18, closed)
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