another one for the boys
just did a fashion show thingmajiggy. It was for hair, but all the models were in high-fashion outfits. I was stage managing (=shouting a lot at prima donnas), and on cans (that would be comms headsets for the uninitiated). Most of the day it's been leggy american models, generally making me feel short, fat and an inadequate example of the lady sex (which I'm not at all, it's just easy to feel that way around mod-ells). The way the stage was set up, the god-box (or production booth as it's less egotistically known) was 90 degrees to the stage/catwalk, meaning sound, lighting and producer could just about see me and anyone next to me thorough the one entrance to the stage with a wall in front, to hide us and allow stage left and right.

So I'm standing there, waiting for the next bunch of models to rock up. One passes me to stand on a step, and I can't help letting out a quiet "f**king hell". The girl who has just walked past me is wearing NOTHING but a gold mesh tunic, and has HUGE breasts. Even I'm trying not to stare, until I get asked "what's wrong?" over cans. "Oh, nothing. You'll see". Once she gets to the step, cans go mental - the lighting guy shouts "good christ!", sound guy starts giggling, the producer asks "who has my camera?". Unfortunately, the camera and VT crew, both in the wrong wing or filming the intro from the audience, have no idea what this noise is about. One of them asks our sound guys what's happened. Sound guy: "there aren't words". Camera: "in one word then". Sound "Magnificent".

Please bear in mind here that I'm the only one who can hear this by the models, and the client standing next to me is beginning to wonder why I seem to be laughing at a naked girl.
(niceandwarmandhot vive la résistance, Fri 2 Dec 2005, 15:21, Reply)