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This is a question On the stage

Too shy to ever appear on stage myself, I still hung around theatres like a bad smell when I was younger - lighting and set design were what I was good at.

Backstage we'd attempt to sabotage every production - us lighting geeks would wind up the sound man by putting the remote "pause" button for his reel-to-reel tape machine on his chair, so when he sat down it'd start running, ruining his cues. Actors would do scenes out of order to make our lives hell. It was great and I don't know why I don't still do it.

Tell us your stories of life on the stage.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2005, 11:02)
Pages: Popular, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

This question is now closed.

We've been doing the play all this week.
Well for three days.

After all those rehersals and all.

I'm pooped.

/bed now
(, Fri 2 Dec 2005, 23:32, Reply)
oh yeah!
Yesterday night I was in the Library pub, Hyde Park, Leeds. Those of you familiar will know that this pub opens 'til 2am on a Thursday night and sells pints of lovely Grolsche at £1.50.

Obviously I was quite drunk by midnight.

And some friends and I were dancing on the stage on the top floor. You know, the sort of thing where we all put our arms round each other and kick our legs in the air- kankan style- to the proclaimers or some other 'classic'

We did this in a circle.

I kicked my mate Sean right in the bollocks. I think he cried.

Apologies for length, as his is now considerably smaller. Though the girth is probably good due to swelling!
(, Fri 2 Dec 2005, 23:27, Reply)
I was in a Cinderella spoof play. All the other guys where trying out for the role as prince. I tried out for the role of one of the ugly step sisters. I got the part.
I found a pink dress in the school's lost-and-found box, and made that part of my costume because it fit so well. I bought a red wig and put small balloons to be my breasts. I looked ugly as hell.
The day of the play came, and I dressed up as the sister, and went up on stage. The play was terrible, except for my performance of course. I got the only laughs and people where cheering for me. Someone even wanted my phone number...that stupid ass.
Would I dress up as a filthy ugly sister with balloon tits again? Probably.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2005, 23:26, Reply)
All boys school drama
it's a terrifying place.

We were doing this bizarre unheard of play by some czech bloke, all about the lives of insects. And one of the characters was a chrysalis, that throughout the play slowly hatched out.

We decided to give this character to my fat ginger mate, who jumped at the chance because it meant lots of lying down doing sweet fuck all. He loved it. Until we decided on the costume. He did it wearing nowt but a pair of boxers and about twenty metres of clingfilm. We wrapped him up like a chicken in a supermarket. Then we proceeded to roll him down all the stairs on the stage.

The same play also saw me (as a male butterfly) having it off quite actively with a female butterfly. However, this was an all boys school and so the female butterfly was also a boy. I don't recall anyone else partaking in a butterfly-bumming session doing GCSE drama.

No apologies for length, it's the girth that hurts.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2005, 23:17, Reply)
Not me but a friend:

My friend Danny had a beautiful voice. When we were about 12 our school had a school production and he was billed to be singing a crucial song that was integral to the part. Only he had the ability to perform such a difficult song, hitting each high note with perfect precision.

I accompanied him to one of his practice sessions about two weeks before the big show. I was truly astounded. His voice was one to marvel over, almost bringing a tear to my eye.

But one day, I went to school and something was different. He looked a little sheepish and spoke in a whisper. I knew that something was wrong and enquired an explanation.

His voice had bloody broken! Four days before the big day. And his singing voice now resembled the noise expected from a cat being netured with two bricks.

Needless to say he looked a bit of a twerp on stage, especially since the teachers had hyped him up so much. If only his balls had remained in their lofty position that they previously occupied.

Poor sod!
(, Fri 2 Dec 2005, 23:15, Reply)
some bastard..
stitched myself and a friend up by sawing partially through the table legs on our set. so when a friend and i sat down on the coffee table halfway through the show, it collapsed like an interesting reverse bit of ikea flat-pack. cue myself and said friend and rest of cast trying not to have hysterics, and a muffled giggle from the culprit seated at the back.

never mind. we switched said bastard's apple juice for urine. poor dear had to neck half a carton of the stuff. on stage.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2005, 23:03, Reply)
A right little actress...
I took part in an xmas play and was Mrs Claus >_< I wasnt too bad, just cocked loads of stuff up, like speaking to fast and being in places where I shouldnt. Then I took aprt a couple of years later in another xmas play. I was the bloody narator, sat in a chair. I had the script and everything.

I still forgot what to bloody say.

Also I use to do ballet when I was very little, wasn't too bad cept from once I slipped and fell on my arse.

No wonder I didnt carry on with Drama =]
(, Fri 2 Dec 2005, 22:50, Reply)
At my Junior School
I got a part in the nativity play as one of the three Kings. being an entirely white school in the early seventies, we were a bit short on ethnic children, and so one of the kings wore black make-up, and one yellow. By some strange chance, they came up with the idea that the eleven year old actors were quite capable of doing their own makeup, so I ended up putting on my black makeup, both hands face and ears, all went well and we walked out on stage from the left, without any adult checking. as we turned to face the massed ranks of parents cooing at their kiddies, the audience instantly turned from the 'Aren't they sweet attitude of your typical parent at one of these events, to gales of laughter. it appeared that the black king had somehow forgotten to colour the ear that had till now been out of view.

I managed to cause trauma to all of the infants school who had come to see the serious play, and who found that the nativity story was packed with laughs. still could have been worse, i could have turned up at the crucifiction
(, Fri 2 Dec 2005, 22:10, Reply)
A few years ago..
Back when I wanted to be an actress, mummy and daddy would send me on theatre courses during my summer holidays. I enjoyed them greatly until I was fifteen, when, on our performance day, I had to run onto stage at one point. It may not sound that bad, but I fell over on the really painful bottom of my spine/lower back type area. I swear I heard the verterbrae crunch. Anyway, I got up and, in excruciating pain, continued with the performance. I winced my way to the end and when my parents met me at the stage door I swore black and white that I'd 'meant to' fall over. I spent the next few days flat on my back in bed, claiming I had a cold.

Needless to say, I am now applying to Cambridge and not to RADA. This summer, my parents are sending me on an Ancient Greek course. Ho hum.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2005, 21:59, Reply)
The mark of Zorro, sort of
When I was really young, maybe 4, I discovered scissors (the proper ones, not those shite plastic kiddy scissors) and went on a 3-year rampage of cutting lots of little triangles in anything I could.

Mid-way through this 3-year rampage my school's nativity play came up and I was cast as one of the angels. About half an hour before the performance one of the other angels pissed me off by swapping our halos, for mine was gold and hers silver. The fit I threw did no good and our teacher/set designer/costume designer/director/piano player said to just wear the silver one. I was NOT happy, so I found a pair of scissors and cut lots of little triangles in every fucking costume apart from my own and Mary's. The performance went ahead, but was slightly bizarre for the audience considering the, er, holey material all the outfits were made from.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2005, 21:45, Reply)
The Pain Within
I do the occasional independent film as an actor and recently was cast as the Sergeant of a squad of US 10th Mountain Division Troopers fighting the Nazi scourge in Italy in 1945 for a film called "The Pain Within".

The story was great and the character, while a supporting role, was a solid character. (think Tom Sizemore's Sergeant Horvath in "Saving Private Ryan")

So in this one scene, it's Italy, 1945 and we are marching in combat column up a VERY steep dirt road through some woods and the lead character is rambling on about wanting to get some "Italian loving" from the girls in the village we had just gone through. My line, as scripted: "I say, when this whole thing is over, we head back there and knock up every Italian broad we can find."

The actual delivery was not so smooth. See, I was a big BIG fan of "Band of Brothers" (still am now that I think about it) and "Saving Private Ryan" and a great bit, all in fact of "Private Ryan" and about 1/3 of Band of Brothers, took place in France.

I respond to his line with "I say, when this is all over, we go back there and knock up every French broad we find."

"CUT! RESET TO ONE!" cried the Director over the muffled chuckles of my fellow cast members. We trudged back down that LONG, STEEP hill...turning about halfway down to begin the climb again...their chuckles didnt last long. It was August and the humidity was up near 80%. And some dim-wit back in the 1940's made those uniforms of WOOL.

It was funny the first time, trust me. But it got old after the second and third takes. By the fourth take, I ALMOST got it right, and I wasnt so concerned with the irritated Director but the thought that all those armed extras were REALLY getting tired of marching up that hill.

Several had machine guns. And I am happy with the present and God-given number of holes in my body.

Fortunately, my jokes were good in between takes so they let me live to shoot another day!

(, Fri 2 Dec 2005, 21:05, Reply)
The wrong way to involve the audience...
Let me take you back a few years...1990 something-or-other to be precise. The production that we were putting on was Benjamin Brittens 'Noyes Fludde', the charming story of Noah and his building of the ark and starting the worlds first zoo - complete with petting area...or something like that. I'm presuming that nobody had the heart to pick Mr. Britten up on his spelling.

I, for my sins, played in the 'orchestra'; about 8 people on varied instruments. We also brought in a couple of brass players from another school, just for good measures.

Rehersals had gone smoothly; the actors new their lines, the musicians sounded fine, the set and props were all sorted. Perhaps this was the problem. Perhaps we got cocky.

We move on to the opening night and we're playing to a full house. Mothers and fathers sit, cameras poised, waiting to catch their darling offspring doing something other than spraying graffiti on the wall of the local off-license; siblings waiting to catch sight of their brothers and siters poncing about on stage so they can riddicule them at length later. The lights go down and the performance begins. We get to the interval and everything is going swimmingly. A quick break to refresh ourselves and back on we went. This was where disaster struck.

Second half, Noah has built the Ark and is, quite literally, singing it's praises.
The Ark as it was consisted of a big piece of paper painted up to represent the side view of a boat and a cardboard tube for the mast. Now don't get me wrong. This isn't the kind of cardboard tube you find in your everyday toilet paper, far from it. This tube was between 10 and 12 feet tall and as thick as your thigh...if you reasonably thick thighs that is. How, I hear you ask, did we fix this uber-tube to the ground? Glue? Rivets? Nope. We had somebody squat down and hold it...for the rest of the second half. Unfortunatly, the boy in question couldn't keep it up all night(though I believe he taking tablets now to remedy this) and the mast of the Ark toppled...straight into the audience. Fortunatly, the mast remained undamaged and we were able to use it for the rest of the performances. This is mainly because the mast landed on a young lady and her even younger child. Imagine the hush that settled over the place. It didn't last long. From the back of the hall one of the trombonists exclaimed "Oh my god, they've killed a baby - classic!" and then proceded to burst into a fit of laughter.

True professionals we were, we scraped the child of the tube and finished the performance.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2005, 20:23, Reply)
When I saw this stupid QOTW. We had to wait an extra day for this crap? Who voted for this? It is, and will be, bollocks.

Perhaps let's....
(, Fri 2 Dec 2005, 19:00, Reply)
the sound of sodding music...
decided to audition for a wee part in the sound of music that my school was putting on when i was doing my a-levels.
i read for the part of one of the snitchy nuns that tells on maria. however, just before i went up my friend tells me how funny it would be if you replaced "singing" with "wanking".
cue me giggling like a 5 year old as i read lines like
"but mother superior, i heard maria singing so loudly yesterday!"
"maria was singing and didnt stop when i told her to"
"maria has been singing all over the convent"
i ended up doing a rather sterling job on the lighting team (WSA Technical CrewXcore!)

*thinks back and giggles like a 5 year old*
(, Fri 2 Dec 2005, 18:47, Reply)
i used to study opera. now i'm an automotive engineering student.
i am 24 now, and spent roughly 12 of those years studying classical voice. as a classical vocalist, you're supposed to do your own translations, study the poetic idea of a song to really get the feeling, etc. some of the books i studied out of were printed by a publisher named alfred, and those books made everything easier. on the page before each song, it gave the translation, the poetic idea, and the history of the song. nice source of information, saves time and much pawing through books and dictionaries, etc.

what this all leads up to is i was giving a recital after a particularly stressful season, so i trimmed down my program to only do three songs each in italian, german, and french. my voice teacher decided it would be a nice idea, to fill some of the time that would have been taken up by other songs, if i shared the poetic idea of each song before i sang, as my friends and family and most of my public didn't speak a work of any of the languages i was to be singing in. i looked down at the page before my first piece and hissed at her 'i can't read this!' she hissed back 'yes you can, go ahead!' she sat at the piano, waiting for me. i couldn't very well start the piece with no accompaniment.

so, i told my audience (including my lovely mum) that my first piece was titled 'An Chloe', and it was about the moment when the two lovers, slicked with sweat, feverishly climax together and cry out in ecstacy. i've never been so embarrassed in my life. i looked back at my voice teacher and she had paled, considerably. she had NO idea what it was about. a bunch of the people in this audience also helped determine my scholarships, whether or not i got more performances hosted in the concert hall, etc. needless to say there were a few scandalized faces.

Another time, i had been selected to attend a solo vocal artist workshop at princeton university, culminating in each student performing one piece from their repetoire at a large recital at the end of the workshop. since i'm short and a bit square, i wanted to appear much taller (since i was only going to be onstage for one song, comfort wasn't an issue) so i wore this RIDICULOUS pair of platforms that brought me up to about 5'4 from my usual 4'11. as i walked on stage, the corner of the carpet under the grand piano was turned up. i caught my heel and stumbled, and the concert hall of 400 people gasped. i caught myself without falling, which i thought was pretty rockstar, so i threw the audience the horns. whoops. so much for stage poise and elegance. (i kicked ass on the piece i sang though, so awesome.)

apologies for most everything.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2005, 18:46, Reply)
Band stories
During a complex and brilliant drum solo, the LightTech decides this would be a good time to deploy nothing but strobe. Have you ever tried drumming whilst your hands appear to be stationary?

Trying to play a fretless bass whilst the LightTech opts for a tight spot on only the lead singer. EVERY NOTE WAS SLID! Crowd thought it was brilliant.

Forgetting to tighten all the bolts on a drum kit which promptly fell apart during the first song leaving the drummer with comedy kit of just bass, snare & high-hat. Crowd thought it was part of the show...

PC sequencer having a BSOD just before the Wakemanesqe keyboard solo leaving the ivory tickler playing prog-rog on the only non-midi keyboard he had left - a Casio VL-Tone (plinky, plinky, plunk). Crowd also thought this was ace.

Punters eh? Easily pleased 'tards the lot of 'em...
(, Fri 2 Dec 2005, 18:39, Reply)
Superman, Oh the shame
A few months after Christopher Reeve died; I was out having a drink with my sister, brother-in-law and two nephews. We were sat outside chewing the fat and cracking jokes about the people sat at other tables around us (they all looked like in-breds etc.)

Suddenly the door opens and an old boy is wheeled out in a wheelchair with breathing tubes and the whole nine yards. It’s at this point I open my mouth and say “oh now look, its Christopher fucking Reeve” in the loudest “Homer-whisper” you have ever heard.

My Sister and brother-in-law went white, my two nephews tried unsuccessfully to stop themselves from screaming laughing and everyone at the table where “Superman” was being wheeled turned and stared open mouthed.

And you know what the worst “shame” is? I’m late for last weeks QOTW.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2005, 18:28, Reply)
Teardrop on the Fire
Before I moved away to university, I was involved in quite a lot of technical theatrics. I'd started at secondary school with the annual school plays, I sometimes ran the sound for my parents' church in York, and I was part of the local amateur operatics society. I also went to a few of the more technical Pied Piper gigs, including spending one dark evening projecting large red triangles into the sky using a GoldenScan.

It's from the operatic society that the more amusing of my stories come from. Our production of 'Annie Get Your Gun' completely ruined a metal dustbin because we used it to detonate maroons in (being far too cheap to get hold of a proper bomb tank). The show we did with dry ice gave one of the techs a black eye - but if you stick dry ice and boiling water in a bottle and screw the lid on, what do you expect?

One evening, many hours after the rest of the cast and crew had stopped rehearsing and left for the night, myself (sound) and Lee (lighting) had to let Martin (lead spotlight) and the rather attractive female lead out of the backstage changing room, where they'd been locked in because they had been ...hiding. Rather energetically.

My favourite play, though, was at secondary school. At the time, I'd do more or less anything to get out of normal lessons (computing, technical drama, anything - I must have been the geekiest kid in my year) and so I got involved in the school play. This meant three full days of rehearsals, and another day for us techies to set up first. After the first show I did, I was hooked, and when it came time to choose my GCSEs, I was the only person in school to do Lighting and Set Design instead of Drama.

So when I was asked by the head of drama (Mrs Hawes, lovely lady) to run lighting and sound for a group of year elevens I was more than happy to help. It turned out they were doing quite an emotional piece - rape was involved - and they wanted some music to accompany one particular scene. Anyway I ran the lighting and the tape for the rehearsal and, if my memory serves, for their assessment; but Mrs Hawes had asked them to perform the play in the school assembly.

So for said assembly, I'm sat at the front of the hall next to the cassette player, so that I can run the music and fade it out at the right points. The group is introduced, the play is performed, and when all was done I don't think there were many dry eyes left through the whole school.

To my shame I can't remember much about the play itself, but I do remember the music. Whenever I hear Massive Attack's "Teardrop on the Fire" I'm transported back seven years to that assembly hall.

Unfortunately, all that remains of that period of my life is a working knowledge of lighting and sound equipment (came in useful at a Latin American society gig I got invited to), and the fact that the headphones I wear about the house are more appropriate for an on-stage foldback engineer at a gig.

Anyone - amateur theatre, pro theatre, venues, bands - in [south] Manchester looking for a sound/lighting engineer? My email address is in my profile...
(, Fri 2 Dec 2005, 18:08, Reply)
This one time
back in year 4 i was in a school play based on Oklahoma!, that shit movie. Part of the play involved lots of chairs stacked together on the stage and mocked up to look like a stagecoach. Compared to our tiny child-like bodies, the stagecoach was a massive erection of chairs and tables. Rehearsals were ok but on the night things went south. At our cue myself and a fellow coach driver got about halfway up before i trod on his fingers, thus precipitating our demise and the toppling of the apparatus.....right onto the front row of the sitting child audience. Several people got stabbed by chairs. I was ok though, I landed on a bunch of screaming faces.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2005, 17:49, Reply)
Another one
I went to see my friend in her A level drama play. The drama group had been split into two and so there was a play before and after the interval. My friend was in the first half along with a simple but lovely girl called Jenny. They did their play and it was very good. As we went to another room for interval drinks the 2nd group set up in the drama studio- they were doing a themed play about arranged marriage and were spending time creating a lovely indian style set and had even lit joss sticks to make it more atmospheric. As we re-entered the studio, Jenny sniffed, and then loudly proclaimed 'I smell incest!' Bless her.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2005, 17:36, Reply)
Twelve legged girl sings with Harlem New York Choir
Once upon a time, at Friday night/late night Victoria & Albert museum, I was cruising around with a group of friends checking stuff out, as you do... A couple of them I hadn't seen for about six years as they had just moved to London so this was our first 'catch up'.

Someone mentioned that there was a choir singing in one of the annexes.. Sauntering along the corridor, friends in tow, I hear the sound of 70 black people on stage - the entire New York Harlem Choir, belting out gospel tracks... Fascinated, I stood there... sucked in by the sound... I find myself pushing my way to the front, shoving people in wheelchairs over... I was compelled by the music, and possibly God??? Or some poultergeist lurking within the V&A, more likely. The gospel drew me further and further in... Suddenly, the choir leader announced: "Does anyone want to come up on stage and sing with us???" Suddenly excited, I pushed my five foot nothing friend up towards the stage (she's an actress) who rushed up there, very excited at having her five minutes of fame again and certainly not needing any encouragement... I suddenly heard a voice inside me say, 'Fuck it, Rosalita, you will never get this opportunity again...'. Next thing I know, I'm walking the plank up onto the stage, my actress friend looking more than a little confused and if I dare say it, horrified. By this stage, there are only four extra people on stage - including me...

My actress friend can kind of hold a tune... Unfortunately for me, I only had one glass of red prior to getting up on stage so my vocal chords weren't relaxed and I was a tad nervous (well, essentially, I'm FAAAAAAAR from being a performer but can hold a note or two after a glass or two - can't everyone??)... 'LET IT SHINE, LET IT SHINE, LET IT SHIIIIIIIIIIIIINE', came out of me, in a fantastic seven second solo piece...

My other friends stood and watched in utter disbelief as I did my solo, clapping, laughing with glee, I could see the tears of laughter falling onto the parquetry floor... Hmmm... I was loving it! Actually, I do have to say that there was general support for me from my friends.. it's just that half of them hadn't seen me for six years... 'So this is the new Rosalita??'

Twenty minutes later, I'm in the toilet queue by myself, contemplating my performance, critiquing my show, when a 60 year old black woman came up to me and said in a New Yawwwk accent, 'I liked your singing!!!!' Compliment number one.

Skip forward three hours and everyone is outside the V&A, trolleyed, hanging out on the steps, I'm hanging with the choir leader, talkin' gospel music and stuff... Turns out he didn't recognise me. At all. I had to REMIND him of who I was! Talk about the highs and lows of fame... Sigh. I sauntered home and I think I may have drank another bottle of red...

Well, at least I can say I've sung with the Harlem New York Choir, eh??? Somewhere, there is digital footage of me taken by my friend Teef, but think he was too busy laughing at me so I am positive it's blury.

Signed Rosalita
(, Fri 2 Dec 2005, 17:27, Reply)
I played the Dentist in Little Shop of Horrors.
The best part about it was that my costume - a pair of leather trousers - didn't fit at all. So I was actually safety-pinned into them, a little like Sandy from Grease. It was fucking murder when the first act finished (with my death) and I had to run to the toilet. I ripped the trousers open so hard that about four pins flew over the cubicle wall. Somebody said "Ow."

I wonder who they were.

Oh, and that fucking disaster of a concert...the first fuck-up was when I managed to pull out my guitar lead in the middle of the solo on Enter Sandman, but the second and most monumental one was where my bandmate introduced the wrong song and I went up to the mic and said "No. Actually we're going to play..."

(, Fri 2 Dec 2005, 17:26, Reply)
Another nerdy lighting techie here...
I had to light a student show in a small room, for a producer who refused to take his poncy hat off, and kept repointing the lights accidently.

However, I shall thank him forever for making the comment : "Can we shine black light on the audience to make them darker?"
(, Fri 2 Dec 2005, 17:25, Reply)
i played a tree in 'hansel and gretal' when i was 6
and i couldn't even do that successfully :(

my fucking 'tree hat' wouldn't stay on my head and i kept having to pick it up through my 'performance'.


a fucking tree.... /grumble...
(, Fri 2 Dec 2005, 17:15, Reply)
How true.
When I was at primary school I used to play in a recorder quartet with 2 twins (both of which I later went out with, although not at the same time, alas) and another girl. As the only boy, I considered it my duty to my gender to play the tenor recorder, rather than a weedy descant. Upon walking onto stage, some young girl in the front row of the audience exclaimed 'Wow, that's a big one'. Even at that age, I thought 'Yes, yes it is'.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2005, 17:15, Reply)
Bad time to stamp your feet
I did drama as part of my degree (had to, as part of the drama, film & tv course I was on) and whilst I loathed actually being in a play, sometimes it was unavoidable. One I was in was Jean Anhoiulle's (misspelt - sue me.) Ring Round The Moon, where I had to play an elderly chap who has a troublesome relationship with his daughter. The lass playing her has to get into a strop at one point and stamp her feet like a spoilt child. On the opening night, she got to that point, stamped her feet which somehow kickstarted her time o' the month, and she had to finish the scene whilst trying to stop it trickling to the hem of her (white) dress.

Blimey. First post here for one of these and it's really unpleasant. I'm a lovely chap really.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2005, 17:02, Reply)
Treading the light fantastic
I've done quite a few things of a theatrical bent in my time... best memories include:

A see through dress on a particularly fit female lead under full stage lights (aah... mammaries...)

Stealing the show in the same play (unscripted one-liners piss off the director but go down a storm with the audience).

Although I will always cringe about the memories of my last outing. I was Grandpa Joe in Willy Wonka... which was a full musical. The thing was, I was supposed to be George. Two lines, a bit of singing, in and out, done. But no, the guy playing Joe only had to develop a throat infection, lose his voice, and then convince me to take on his role less than a week before the sodding performance. The spoken parts were fine, and quite good (if I do say so myself). The dancing and singing parts, sadly, weren't. I lost the thread halfway through the first song, but thankfully the pianist was clued up enough to wrap up the song with an impromptu musical solo. Secondly was the dance at the end (cringes again). My arse became my elbow, and I couldn't tell the difference between. To say I hid for a few days afterwards is a lie- no-one noticed my cockups but me, yet still I cringe even though everyone else is convinced that I did a good job. Oh well.

Mind you, my stints of being a DJ on the radio were much more successful. I ended up helping to run the place for a while as well, oddly enough. From the radio I graduated to the student union- DJing in there that is. Although my version of DJing is a little more laissez faire than most people's- I took my computer down, put a playlist together in itunes, and then spent the evening getting pissed. Easy.

Although my best memory of the radio is when I helped out with a friend's show, who asked me for some random facts. So, I cranked out the standard ones- duck's quacks, dolphins having sex for pleasure and so forth. However, my mate took the biscuit. To set the scene, this was a show which is listened to by local families, and this one was on mid-afternoon. The one just before drive time actually. When I'd finished my random facts, he asked the following "Is it true a pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes?". I just played the next song without answering.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2005, 16:57, Reply)
i was once an evil doctor! i got to throw sausages into the audience, real sausages (they were internal organs) and i was dealing in the arms trade, i stole arms off people in ops and sold them... i had a labcoat a mustache a goatee and at the end i had to go on with fake arms and have them brutally stolen off me and also i perfected my evil laugh.. mWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA....
(, Fri 2 Dec 2005, 16:56, Reply)
being on stage is fun and i do it regularly and whenever i act i always end up wearing something that involves a fur coat.

Once i did charlie and the chocolate factory and i was augustus gloops mum and me and my 'husband' had to go around being german and the like, and then we had a massive argument and he slapped me.. well and truly!

nothing too embarrasing happened to me though...

I quite enjoyed taking my LAMDA gold medal this year, i did a bit from cat on a hot tin roof. My american accent is appalling, i got a merit though..(this counts because i did this exam on a stage)

Erm... im thinking of joining the local theatre group once i get kicked out of the orchestra for being too OLD!

Im also planning a mass charliechaplin slapstick dance when we play 'i got rhythmn' and the xmas concert next week.. i simply cannot resist..

Once i did something for my house drama at school by john godber, on the day of performing the play we didnt really know our lines and also the set fell down in the dress rehearsal. Come the night, we decided to just let rip and completely exaggerate everything and make it really silly to cover up our lack of line knowing and made the crowd giggle all the way through! we won all prizes and i won best actress! so there.. then we ran around screaming we are the champions!!

My personal favourite part though was mary mooney in once a catholic.. in a scene where the nun is giving a sex education to the class (1950s all girls catholic school is the settings - all girls are called mary) and my line was 'please miss, how does the penis enter the vagina?' i got sent out of the classroom for that one and earned a rather spangly b at gcse drama... ^_^

im boring...
(, Fri 2 Dec 2005, 16:54, Reply)
In the Pit
I play Trombone (im quite good i might add) and at the beginning of the year was asked to play in the orcestra for a Amature dramatic Society who were doing 'Annie' at our local Concert Hall with a good friend who also plays the trombone, anyhoo me and my friend(Yay Timmy!) have the ability/gift to make anything funny. We were told that we were not to draw attention to ourselves as it would distract from the show going on above us so no sudden movements etc, well first night comes and we havent practiced with the cast because of time limits my Mum came to watch me as it was my first time playing for a show(bless). There are three scenes i will never forget, the lass playing Annie had a bad lisp and would sing 'Tomowwow, tomowwow i'll love ya tomowwow' that made me and Tim laugh so much we had to hold it in all the audiece could clearly see were mine and my mates shoulders going up and down as we stifled our laughter as my Mum informed the pair of us, the next one the good guy says as he is walking in downtown New York he takes a big Sniff in and says 'Smell That' we again set of our bobbing shoulders as we laughed and the same dude, were adamount he said this' I need my smoking jacket and brown velvet underpants' to his butler i laughed so much i nearly died

Anyway aplogise for length,width,amount of smeg etc
(, Fri 2 Dec 2005, 16:52, Reply)

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