Stiffy britches
Playing a rustic in a school production of a restoration comedy, I had to canoodle with a girl during one scene. Unfortunately I had the unrequited hots for the young actress. During the opening night, she played her part with verve, which involved sitting on my lap and wriggling.

Unfortunately my usual thespian professionalism did not extend to my adolescent knob, which reacted with glee at the stimulation from the nether regions of the object of my affections. Not only did I have the embarrassment of fearing the girl in question would feel my rising ardour, but I was wearing tight-fitting britches, and knew that in a few minutes' time the scene called for me to push her off my lap and leap up. I became terrified that my stiffy would be visible to the audience. I was desperately willing little Mr Winky to go down, without any success. The strain of this made me begin to sweat, and feel dizzy.

Eventually the time came to jump up, so I did so with a hand strategically shifting my embarrassing protrusion to the side as I did so. Alas, the double shame, the heat of the lights, and the first night nerves, got the better of me and I fainted backwards into the chair, and came round a few seconds later, without a clue where I was, nor why I was sitting in strange clothes in an armchair, with an erection, bright lights in my face, and hundreds of people looking at me.

Thankfully I came to my senses in a moment, the shock quelled my 'excitement', and I was able to carry on. Subsequent performances had me turn my groin away from the girl, which made my character look less keen, but at least I avoided further priapean shame.

Of course, there is also the worrying thought that neither she, nor the audience, noticed that anything had been amiss...
(bingbong, Tue 6 Dec 2005, 12:10, Reply)