Might as well have hit me in the mouth with a hammer
I had the worst 26th birthday ever...

My house purchase had gone through that day and so I had just been given the keys to my first ever house with my girlfriend. Unfortunately I also had to go to the dentist the same day.

Off I go expecting nothing more than a quick in and out (fnarr), but once the dentist looked in my mouth she found a tooth that had to come straight out.

She comes back with a massive needle and a pair of pliers. STAB! needle in mouth to try and numb and then the pliers go in before I'm numb and she starts tugging at my tooth.

10 minutes of this and my lips have all been bruised and the sides of my mouth have split from her efforts.

Off she goes and grabs a bigger set and now kneels on my chest to get some leverage. I now have a demented dentist kneeling on my chest tugging at my mouth like a pyscho horse masturbator. I've got so much blood and water pouring out of my mouth it's running down my back and into my pants.

'Right, I've had enough of this' she declares (unlike me who must be loving every minute of it) and tells me to brace myself (cos I'm obviously relaxed) and squeezes the pliers.

Now one of the noises you never want to hear is an explosion inside your head, which is exactly what it sounds like when someone pops a tooth still in place.

When I manage to waddle out I'm now in a shell-shocked, pale white faced, blood splattered state.

As a passing shot I was also told no alcohol, hot food or exercise for the rest of the day. This got me out of having to move furniture, but made the meal and beers with my mates and birthday sexy times with the GF a no-go.

Worst birthday ever...
(Wooden meal is. Or is he?, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 19:00, Reply)