Deep Heat
Ralgex, I think its called. Industrial strength Deep Heat type stuff for muscle pain.

Back in the day when I could run for hours, I was a good footballer. I loved 5-a-side, and me and 9 others would play on a Friday night then proceed to Ashby to drink ourselves silly.

One evening in mid summer (it was hot), about 40 minutes in, I pull the muscle on the top of my thigh. Go in goal for the rest of the game. Shower, and then whack Ralgex onto top of leg, get the old shorts on and head to the bar!

The holder of the post of "significant other" was called Christine. She was lovely; bit dim but up for fun fun fun. So in she comes to meet us and she is wearing a very short skirt. She walks over to where we are all sitting; no chairs left so she just sits on my knee.

After about 20 mins, she just says "off to the ladies" - I should have realised at this point something was wrong as she went alone. She is gone a while, but its the pub, she could have ran into mates, blah blah...

I get a text about 20 mins after this saying she's gone home, can I call her tomorrow. No worries, beer o'clock...

I found out the next morning, that she had come out with my favourite tiny thong on and after sitting on my knee, she had noticed a warm feeling in her lady parts. Which got worse, and worse, and then she went to the loo and home. For 4 hours she tried getting in the bath, sitting on frozen peas, even got out the old thrush cream but was in true agonising pain!

My fault chuck...
(Strump striving for imperfection since, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 20:57, 2 replies)

Similar experience was had by me...
But not nearly so innocent. My cock hasn't been the same since.
(Vinnie Strokes Got bummed on, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 21:31, closed)

A similar experience is had by me most Saturdays during the rugby season
One of these days I'm going to remember to go for a piss BEFORE putting Deep Heat on my legs.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 22:18, closed)