Piercings
Now, I can't be arsed to trawl through all the replies to see if anyone else has mentioned them.

Over the ears I have had 3 out of the four piecings done that I have wanted since I was about 15. The nipple was the first, but I wussed out and got the spray anaesthetic. The piercing only hurt on a few occasions; when brushed soon after it had been done, when my hair got in it when moshing and when my friend punched it out. I have since had it redone, no anaesthetic and no real pain. The tongue was painless, as it should be if done well.

The PA, now that was something different. I took them up on the offer of anaesthetic, which they administer my spraying it on your bell end, pushing a cotton bud down the japs eye and dripping it along the plastic so inside your little chap is well and truly frozen. This was all uncomfortable but nothing more. The needle goes in and the nice piercer advised me to look through the hollow needle as it was stuck in me, saying "That's the only time you'll see your feet through your cock".

Now, with a ring through my penis and relatively little pain, I'm feeling quite happy and decide to reward myself with a quick pint (or two). Soon I need a trip to the little boys room and so off I toddle. Standing at the urinal between two men I get my newly adorned willy out and proceed to piss out my last few pints.

Oww!. No, really! Oww oww oww!

What feels like molten lead is coming out of my old man! In a 90 degree spray of blood! My knees buckle and I'm gripping onto the top of the urinal to stay upright.

The two kind gentleman in the bogs with me turn pale, finish up and leave me to it without a word.

For some time after that I was left having to sit down when I pissed, easing it out as each dribble felt as if I was pissing sandpaper galstones through a syphillis infected member.

Now, I don't know why I was never told this would happen, especially as I was given strict dates for any sexual activities I wanted to perform (one week before a wank, two until I could have oral sex, 3 for vaginal and 4 for anal). I didn't keep to those instructions, but at least with them there was pleasure as well as pain.

Appologies for length, it was cold and I was chocked full of adrenaline waiting for the needle to go through my sensitive areas.

Edit: typo kept for the hell of it
( monkeyboyalpha jumping on the bandwagon since, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 9:56, 4 replies)

Well, this typo amused me, at least
Over the ears I have had 3 out of the four piecings done that I have wanted since I was about 15.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 9:57, closed)

Would make sense if it read under the ears, as that's where they all are.

( monkeyboyalpha jumping on the bandwagon since, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 10:08, closed)

Unlucky.
Mine never hurt. Ever. Not even when I ignored the advice about wanking.

The 90-degree spray to the right when I go for a piss is with me to this day though, so I sit down like a woman.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 10:53, closed)

i would suggest that it was a reaction to the anaesthetic.
ethyl chloride? ouch. and if it was, there's no way it should have been put down your japs eye.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:40, closed)

I think it was something like Stalion Delay Spray.
Don't know what that's got in it and don't want to google it and have that search remain on my computer
( monkeyboyalpha jumping on the bandwagon since, Thu 5 Aug 2010, 9:44, closed)