Back in high school when I was around 16,
I wanted to impress this one girl that lived across the street from me. You know how it is - she would wave hi every day, then every now and again she'd come over when my parents were having her parents over. I was in love and I had to do something to get her.

We went to the same church, so one Sunday after morning worship (let me point out I've since turned and am a normal guy now), a group of us headed to the woods for a hike. I got to walk right behind her, and oooooh, that butt was to die for! I could feel my woody rising I watched it wiggle!
A few feet ahead was a tree with just the right amount of climb space that I knew she would be impressed if I just monkeyed up there like Tarzan!
So I ran ahead, took a running jump at the lowest branch and hauled myself up. Hauled myself up onto the next branch and by this point the rest of my buddies are telling me to go higher. Which I did.
Being weedy and nerdy, I naturally lost my footing trying to get up to the next branch, and fell.

I landed balls first on the branch below which doubled me over, and so fell again...stomach first onto the branch below.

Once I wiped the tears away, I realized I had serious pain in the region of my groin and gingerly "went for a piss"....to discover a splinter of wood lodged in my dick.
After two days of it festering and digging deeper every time I walked, I finally went to the Emergency Room where they got it out under local anaesthetic and sent me home with 3 stitches and cleaning instructions to give to my mom. (My parents never found out).

The most painful thing.....my unrequited crush laughed at me.
(nolongernuts, Thu 5 Aug 2010, 5:44, 1 reply)

You should
of taken the nickname woody for your little chap after that. *budump*
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Thu 5 Aug 2010, 10:59, closed)