Panic BuyingIt's the last shopping day before the whole country shuts down for christmas. You've been looking all over for something, anything, to buy your favourite person. Something that says you care, that makes them see you in a new light.
Well, something that won't make them punch you would do. My brother-in-law once bought his wife a bin for her birthday - it was a very nice bin, but boy was he in the crud for days.
What have you bought in sheer panic and desperation? Go on, you know you do it every year.
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chthonic, Fri 23 Dec 2005, 15:10)
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Why I no longer bother with ChristmasWell, at least I don't bother with my family.
See, one year I actually tried. My mother had gotten her ears pierced late in life, liked emeralds, and liked small earrings, so I got her emerald studs. My sister loves guns (yes, we are American) and likes things that go on the wall, so I went to eBay and got two gun ads from 1950s magazines--one a sign-up ad for the NRA and one some ad for some rifle--and mounted them nicely in nice frames. I bought her husband, my brother-in-law, some Mickey Mouse-themed bank, since he likes Mickey Mouse (and guns).
My mother thanked me profusely and has never once worn the earrings, so far as I know. She has, however, worn tiny Starship Enterprises that dangle from her earlobes.
My sister smirked sickly at my efforts, as if only a retard like me could think that she might like gun memorabilia. And the bank was apparently just not right, either, as my brother-in-law accepted it with a falsely hearty "Ah, Mickey!" that implied that it was probably better than a pornographic trivet, but not much.
My mother just gives me money nowadays. My sister? Her latest effort included a mini mag-lite and a pair of earrings made from tiny dysfunctional dice (each one lacks the one- and six-spot sides). None of us understand any of the other, we're all just clogging up one another's houses with non-biodegradable evidence that we don't understand one another, and you know what? I quit.
From now on, it's nothing but panic buying from me, or at best sending family members crap via Amazon. The hell with it. At least crappy books can be pulped.
(, Sun 25 Dec 2005, 2:19, Reply)
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