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This is a question Lies that got out of control

Ever claimed you could speak a foreign language to impress friends, colleagues and/or get laid? Make a twat of yourself - and I couldn't possibly comment - saying you were the godson of the chairman of BP? Tell us how your porkies have caught up with you

(Thanks to augsav and Sandettie Light Vessel Automatic for the suggestions)

(, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 13:03)
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More of a lie of omission
We tend to prefer to go to nude beaches, and a friend had made the fairly momentous decision to come with us for the first time. Despite being 28, some tricky circumstances meant she was living back with her mum. She told Mother Dearest that she was going to the beach with us, but omitted the crucial part. Fair enough, no reason she should need to know, and her mum (a lovely lady by the way) said "ok, I'm out for the day with my friend", and off everyone went.

So we're on the beach, Studland for anyone that's been (why do nude beaches have the oddest names? There's another call Slapton Sands), as naked as you would expect. Me and Mrs Sammy are sitting chatting, and our friend is in the sea. The next thing we know, she's talking to two fully dressed people. Yep, it was her mum. The naked part of Studland is in the middle of what is a very long beach, and she and her friend had got off the chain ferry at the other end, and decided to walk all the way to the village. They hadn't been too phased by all the naked people, until she had said to her friend "That girl there could do with getting out in the sun more; she's white as an......oh, it's Leanne!).

Anyway, it wasn't a big deal or a problem; Leanne was somewhat mortified, but not enough to stop her coming along again, and her mum thought it very funny. Now, when someone is a bit nervous of taking their clothes off for the first time, we can say "Well, it can't be as bad for you as it was for Leanne....."
(, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 9:48, 8 replies)

(, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 10:47, closed)
I used to keep my catamaran in the car park at Studland.

We used to occasionally find ourselves washed up at the noody end of the beach, in full wetsuits, lifejackets and trapese harnesses. Must have looked very odd.

Obv we always tried to have a bit of an oggle, but I never saw anyone excpet fat middle aged men with big tummies.
(, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 12:26, closed)

On a nice day it does attract a wider mix, but it's not really about the looking. Certainly sometimes we'll be the youngest people there. I
What you don't tend to see are the image obsessed people. I think people who've already decided that they're not going to look amazing no matter what they do are more willing to say "sod it, who cares?" and get their kit off. People often say "it's only old fat people", to which my response is "well, if you get down there with your mates, it'll be different, won't it?"

I suppose the other side of the coin is that the young and beautiful are more likely to feel their going to be ogled, and based on what you've said, maybe they're right.
(, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 15:48, closed)
fair comment.

In defence, we were only looking because we happened to be there. We normally stayed away from that end, because there's a big line of concrete blocks just under the waterline, left from WW2.

Seems to me Studland actually works quite well, in as much as the two 'camps' manage most of the time not to annoy each other too much.

We used to hear the occasional grumble, but that was normally from someone who didn't realise that part of the beach was used by naturists. I've seen a few articles in the press as well, but if I recall correctly, it was a crackdown on what pretty much added up to dogging going on in the dunes. I'm aware that the 'usual' users of that part of the beach are a lot more respectful.
(, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 17:17, closed)

Yeah, you can imagine how popular that is. People already have to deal with assumptions that it's about sex, and that makes it worse, and then it threatens the existence of one of the only nice beaches you can go to. It's just people with no clothes on; in Denmark, there are only a couple of beaches where you have to wear clothes at all; everyone assumes that everyone else can deal with a bare arse.

And there's a big difference between looking and ogling. Anyone who goes to a nude beach knows that lots of people will see them naked, and that's fine; doesn't matter if you're wearing a wetsuit, people are not expected to just maintain perfect eye contact and never look down, just to be normal. There's a big difference between that and gawping, staring, nudging each other and making comments. I imagine you're talking about the former, in which case, what's the big deal?
(, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 21:16, closed)
I love Studland
but haven't been for years, weather and the ridiculous amount of time it took to get there from where we lived, and then the walk through the swamp to get to the beach, fun going on the chain ferry thou., and through the absurdly expensive bit

As you say it's those who look different who get ogled. At Cap d'Age one year the only woman who got stared at was wearing a bikini and loads of make up and jewellery.

oh just remembered another Studland memory, saw a man going towards the shore for a swim, who then proceeded to take off his false leg and his opposite side false arm...That was what is so fucking brilliant about it no one turned a hair.
(, Sat 14 Aug 2010, 17:17, closed)

Yeah, I love that there's no expectation that people are supposed to look "hot". It's perfectly ok to be large (larger ladies look SO much better naked than in swimsuits!), or small, or old, or saggy.hurrah for that!
(, Sun 15 Aug 2010, 16:18, closed)
My mom was a hippy, so we always had a cadre of people around in various states of dress
I now live in a place where people see themselves as sooo open-minded but are so prude. One has to be careful not to be put on a S.O. register.
(, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 22:01, closed)

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