Mayans.
My favourite lie is probably "The ancient Mayans maintained that the Porch is the most erotic room in the house".

I told this to my cousin Dolph back in the summer of 2004. At first he challenged it, claiming I'd made it up to make the Mayans seem cool. I countered this with, they dont care about being cool, they cut people's heads off for a laugh and they danced about naked to impress their God.
Seemingly swayed by this defence, he shut his fat gob for a couple of minutes before coming back at me again with "...okay....perhaps... but isnt the concept of eroticism quite a subjective one? Would an entire civilization of people be able to agree on what is and isnt erotic?"....

I punched Dolph and mentioned to him that I found his name idiotic. He begun to cry and agreed that his name was indeed stupid and far too phonetically similar to Rolf for him ever to wear it comfortably.
I considered the argument to have been well and truly won and casually wandered downstairs to jerk off in his mum's porch.
(Andrew Avetoom, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 21:34, Reply)