Dumfries High School, sometime in the 1980s....
As you may have seen on the news in the last 24 hours, Dumfries can be a pretty wild place weather-wise.

One winter we were mid-way through a block of cross country running. However, on this particular morning the fields were covered in around 8 inches of snow.

We assumed that we'd be playing indoor footie instead. Lovely and warm. Not freezing our wee bollocks out in the cold.

Oh no. Our PE teacher, safely wrapped up in his office, accompanied by an electric bar heater on full blast and a constant supply of coffee and biscuits, sent us out to see what it was like.

"Come on lads, a quick lap round the hockey pitches, and let's see how you get on."

"Come on Sir! You must be joking!"

"Go on lads, then we'll maybe get you inside for some footie or something".

Spurred on by this, we tried our best, despite the appalling conditions, to get round the pitches. We got round as quickly as we could, thinking that the quicker we got round, the quicker we'd be inside getting warm. By the time we finished we were red raw with the cold. The snow was up to our knees in places, and we were out in t-shirts and shorts.

"Well done lads, that wasn't too bad at all. Let's have another lap then, eh?"

He then proceeded to do it again. And again. For the whole period.

The fucker.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 20 Nov 2009, 10:50, Reply)