PErversion.
The rather elderly, yet still hard as iron, head of PE at my school was renowned for his advice and wisdom on growing up and being a man. Such gems included:

PE Teacher, standing hands on hips, groin thrust forward: "Boys there's no better feeling than when you come inside your wife"
Class of 14 year olds: "Erm..."

PE Teacher, hands moving salaciously and expressively: "Now that you're getting older, and things are growing, you'll want to stand in front of a mirror and just let it all swing out."
Class of 15 year olds: "Erm..."

PE Teacher, slight drool at one corner of his mouth: "Jenkins, was that you I saw trying to finger some girl in the park last weekend? Good work boy."
Jenkins: "Erm..."

PE Teacher, hand worryingly in pocket, 'playing with his keys': "Roberts, you are a horrible little bastard, but your mother is a doll."
Roberts: "Sir! That's my mother!"
PE Teacher: "To think you crawled out of that..."

True story.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Fri 20 Nov 2009, 12:14, 3 replies)

"Roberts, you are a horrible little bastard, but your mother is a doll."
That is a work of genius.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 20 Nov 2009, 12:26, closed)

"To think you crawled out of that..."
Hilarious!
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Fri 20 Nov 2009, 12:43, closed)

As horrible and worrying as all of that stuff is
It is pure comedy gold.

What is it about P.E. teachers? Do tthey just recruit the more energetic residents of the nearest home for the mentally deranged? In my experience (and I work in secondary schools) they are almost all perverted, lazy and/or miserable bastards.
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Fri 20 Nov 2009, 12:44, closed)