My school
had a rubbish approach to P.E. If you didn't want to do it, you could opt to sit in a classroom for 2 hours doing shit all. Now I actually enjoyed P.E, but there were some days where either you just couldn't be fucked, you forgot your kit, or you and your mates decided you'd have more fun mucking about for 2 hours.

One day, me and two of my mates, along with around 40 other students, went and sat in the D.T workshop (the only place big enough to seat all of us). Now as you can imagine, 2 hours in a virtually unsupervised D.T room was any teenage boys dream come true.

So after the usual practices had been undertaken, i.e. setting other students bags on fire, glueing people to their seats and manipulating various bits of metal in any of the 4 machines, we set upon drawing up the most lewd, disgusting pictures we could, mainly involving the pervy old teacher supposed to be watching us, or any other member of staff.

Once our masterpieces were complete, they were stuck to the many whiteboards at the front of the room using ultra-strength glue. Unfortunately, said pervy teacher woke up before we could finish, and caught us sticking up the last of the art we had drawn. He was hugely unimpressed with our drawings, taking one as evidence to show to our head of year.

We all got in a lot of shit for it, but we all agree it was still the best P.E lesson any of us had ever had.

I always found it strange, though, that our teacher, out of all the possibilities, chose the picture of him fellating one of the janitors while playing the trombone as the picture he handed in.

(Apologies for length, and seemingly off-topic content)
(Jem Harley is finding it difficult to sleep, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 3:00, Reply)