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This is a question PE Lessons

For some they may have been the highlight of the school week, but all we remember is a never-ending series of punishments involving inappropriate nudity and climbing up ropes until you wet yourself.

Tell us about your PE lessons and the psychotics who taught them.

(, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:36)
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Sticks! Giants! Sexism!
We used to have a podgey grey haired old P.E teacher who had a preference towards the boys. Not in a weird way, just in that he thought men were ace. Girls were wimpy and needed to be pitied and spared. We weren't allowed to run as much, when we did press ups we had to have our knees down and our legs crossed, and so on.

At that age I was rather agressive sports wise. If I was going for it, I went for it! This sometimes didn't work out well, like the time I almost killed myself and another teacher with a discus (if you want to do well, don't accidentally throw it straight up with all your might), but generally I was great. The balls were being kicked everywhere, sometimes in the wrong direction, the basketballs were bouncing and going through hoops all over the place!

My best achievement was hockey. A chance to run about and hit a disk really hard! Woohoo! We were set into teams and all day I was over that pitch, whooshing and smashing to my hearts content. We were really doing well! I was fitting in and helping the team. We were invincible! And then the class giant on the other team really got into his swing. Over six foot tall compared to my nearing-five foot. A great bulky colossus. The puck was free and we both wanted to be it's capturer.

We charged! Sticks ready, heads bent in determination. It was just me and him now. BOOM! We went flying. Quick as a flash, I was up and off with the puck while he sat clutching his leg where my stick had whacked him.

I ended up hot, sore and grubby with red ash from the pitch, but satisfied and happy. It was an escape from being a geeky, shy girl nobody really noticed. From that day on I was "The Man of the Match", a title bestowed by the grey haired woman-hating teacher. It was an honour indeed!
(, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 18:03, 8 replies)
er...
Hockey is played with a ball. Ice Hockey has a puck. Could this story perhaps not be true?
(, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 19:12, closed)
balls. pucks. it's easy for a confused woman to make that kind of mistake.
In the current QOTW, fair play, at least she didn't bring up her tits.

Although I've got sympathy for anyone who had to learn to play hockey on red shale, it's horrible fucking stuff.
(, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 19:25, closed)
It was a poor secondary school...
We had the proper sticks but we hit whatever it was we hit. It could have been a rolled up pidgeon for all I know.

My one good story I had to join in with and you call me a liar because I can't remember the small thing we battered about when I was fifteen! I ask for an apology on bended knee! A cake would also be nice.
(, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 21:39, closed)
Kudos for not mentioning tits or clunge
and thanks for the compliment with your (my) headline.

And red shale is really nasty - ruins your trainers. We used to play tennis on this surface now and then. Awful.
(, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 5:14, closed)
Trainers?
bollocks to them! Knees! I've been playing hockey on astro for 20 years since I last played on shale and the old scars still haven't healed.
(, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:57, closed)
^^ this
*Double checks her posts to make sure she's not guilty either*

I did hockey on astroturf, with a ball rather than a puck (school grounds were only 4 years old when I started, so most of it was far too posh for the oiks that inhabited it). The sand in the astro material would find its way into every cut and graze. I mainly remember looking at the field at the boys wishing I could play rugby instead, where a bit less coordination but more strength was fine, and the mud was nice and soft...
(, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 12:05, closed)
The only solution is to get good enough at it
that most of your games are played on water based astro. Then you can slide to your heart's content with no worse outcome than wet clothing...

*reminisces*
(, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 14:37, closed)

When I was 10 or so, we definitely played hockey in the gym with sticks and a silly plastic puck. I think the gym teacher just used whatever he could find, which I imagine happened to other teachers as well!
(, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 3:47, closed)

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