Why is a conductor like a condom?
It's safer with, but more fun without
(Duckeee Is nothing special, in fact, she's a bit of a bore, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 19:04, 1 reply)

Also . . .
They require the band to be upstanding as they take to the orchestra pit.

They also have a habit of falling to pieces at the most inconvenient time, resulting in the band having to pull out.

They will complain that they are being overstretched.
(username failed moderation, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 9:55, closed)