Deteriorates
When the mind goes, your priorities in life change

My grandmother's at the stage where the only fears that grip her are being left alone, and falling over. She has severe dementia, and is deteriorating rapidly. It's terrible and incredibly frightening seeing someone you know crumble away before you, unlearn things almost in the same way a child first learns them and become increasingly fearful and paranoid.

It was manageable until she strated to lose control of her bodily functions. Two summers ago I worked as her carer during the summer, doing 72 hour shifts for below minimum wage, then getting home and collapsing, only to then work as a cleaner the next day. Mad. The main problem was trying to do everything with dignity. cleaning and washing her when she was soiled, checking her pad, sponge-baths. She hated it but knew it was necessary. I was glad to be able to help her, glad to work illegal and insane shifts to earn the money, but whenever I when to the toilet afterwards it made me shudder because all I could smell was the smell of her and her soiled clothes.

As is the way with degenerative diseases, this summer she was far worse. I was going to care for her again, do the same shift. I only lasted 10 hours. The regular carer had thought it'd happen so she had someone on standby thankfully, but I just went home afterwards and stared blankly at the space infront of me.

I don't want to get old

apologies for the lack of humour
( Hampster Squared has stuff at www.tilla.co.uk, Thu 22 Mar 2007, 23:42, Reply)