Not me but a friend
Whilst at university a friend of mine use to work Saturday's at a supermarket in the centre of town. They would often get some strange characters come in but there was one customer who took the biscuit.

Just before closing one day a tramp walked in and started wondering the isles, he was obviously homeless as he was dressed like only a homeless person could, wearing the very best that the Red Cross could offer. Anyway whilst standing in the middle of an isle this tramp proceeded to take a shit. He didn't take down his trousers, he instead decided to take a shit in his trouser and then proceeded to shake his leg until the rancid turd landed on the floor. At this point one of the managers came over and asked the tramp to leave and my mate was instructed to clean up this mess.

My friend decided that instead of putting on some gloves, picking the turd up, disposing of it and then cleaning the floor he would just go and get the floor cleaner. Looking back on it that was probably a bad idea.

The floor cleaner consisted of a motorized swirling mop that could spray water and soap onto the floor as it span. My mate turned on the floor cleaner and proceeded to run over the turd. Instead of the desired effect of removing this unsightly thing, it proceeded to smear it across the whole of the isle. It went from being a nice white clean floor with a singular turd to a mess of brown shitty water. When the manger saw this my mate got a right bollocking and was told to get a mop and a bucket and sort this mess out properly this time.
(hooj was born on the, Sat 24 Mar 2007, 16:00, Reply)