Sniffs
A friend of mine (who shall be referred to as "Sarah Morrison" because there's no way in hell she'll ever see this.) has an interesting idea of what personal hygiene is. She's one of those many females who spend hours (and I mean that literally) applying make-up, doing hair and picking out clothes before she goes out drinking. Her problem, however, is it apparently has never occured to her to actually shower.
Or wash the clothes she wears.
For example, she turns up at the Pokey Little Puppy residence wearing an outfit that'd offend a hooker, approximately 5 kilos of make-up balanced on her face and hair dyed and styled to the point you can hear it screaming, yet she lifts her arm to revel armpits that look like they haven't seen a razor in years and a smell not unlike what I'd imagine Chewbacca would smell like after a marathon sex session involving Rosie O'Donnell and a bin full of rotting skunks. Nasty.
And, as Mr. Pokey Little Puppy pointed out, you can smell her from at least 2 metres.
Gotta feel a bit sorry for her boyfriend, I've heard (many, many times, mostly from her) that she's really into oral (recieving, NOT giving). I can't even begin to imagine what he has to face down there....

(And if she does ever see this I'd like to add something else: Do not come over to my house in microshorts and a tube top when you know my CHRISTIAN mother in-law will be there. Not fcuking ok. The woman has a nose like a bloodhound and is more god-botheringly uptight than Pat Robertson. You offend her in every possible sense of the word.)

Length? I'd say those armpit hairs would be at least 3cm long.
(pokey_little_puppy Future Supreme Ruler of the Universe, Mon 26 Mar 2007, 6:05, Reply)