BEN
was a bloody big Alsation, owned by my nan and grumps (on my Dad's side) and he had been beaten by kids as a puppy, so he wasn't a big fan of chilluns.
Now I loved this dog, but was never allowed anywhere near it, as it went for kids in revenge for the horrors he had suffered years before.
One day, when I was six, my Dad took me to visit, and I was determined to show Ben that not all kids were wankers.
At this point, Ben towered above me ,and could easily have done me a lot of damage.
To me, he was just the big bundle of fun (I had watched my Dad and Grumps play with him in the garden), and I wanted to fucking well play with the dog!

So I snuck out, as the family watched The Match (Forest v Arsenal as I recall, as Forest had a 2 players called Curry and Rice at the time)and approached the kennel that contained the behemoth of a dog that was Ben.
Fair play, he must of been intelligent, as he didn't maul my face off, and I spent a good half hour in the kennel being licked like a calippo as my family went nuts trying to find me in various sheds/gardens/main roads etc etc.
Eventually, I appeared from the kennel, Ben by my side, best of friends.
I got a telling like you wouldnt believe.
But for years after, Ben was like my best buddy, and I was the only kid in the family, indeed, the world, that he didn't try to eat.
(UnstableDan Bah, Humbug! ooooh, humbugs, nyom!, Fri 8 Jun 2007, 11:07, Reply)