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This is a question Pet Stories

When one of my cats was younger and a lot fatter, he came bowling in from the garden with an almighty crash. Looking slightly stunned, he'd arrived into the kitchen having ripped the cat flap from the door and was still wearing it as a cat-tutu. Did I mention he was quite fat?

In honour of Jake, a well loved cat, who died on Wednesday, tell us your pet stories and cheer us up.

(, Fri 8 Jun 2007, 9:15)
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...we had two cats, they were brothers and although would fight quite nastily with each other, they would soon close ranks on anything else that tried to involve itself. Spyke, the fat ginger sex addict, is unfortunately none too sharp mentally, being the a typical house cat and more of a lover than a fighter (though he did rape a squirrel last week... it was disturbing). His brother, S'tan, was the type of cat everyone dreams of having, jet black, friendly and harbouring a seething hatred of all rodents and birds making for some creative executons (he drowned one in his water bowl... and chewed the wings off one of the neighbours pigeons....evil bastard that he was).

So one day, Spyke was caught unaware and attacked quite vicously by the magpies that nest at the bottom of our garden, with no S'tan there to protect him, Spyke took one hell of a paggering and ended up being taken to vets.... for those who have never seen magpies attack a cat... they are calculating evil buggers, and deserved all that followed...

S'tan declared war... and for a cat who made a habit of butchering any wildlife in our garden... he meant business. He ran up the tree and sat in one of their nests, flicking the chicks out and seemingly relishing in the sight of them bouncing their way down the tree... when barren he would move onto the next nest. Eventually, one of the magpies swooped down in protest.... S'tan jumped up... stuck his rather sizeable claws into the birds face and rode it to the floor below..... removed it's throat... and then ran back up the tree to continue his new fun game.

....Sadly, S'tan is no longer with us, hit by a car a few month back, the only time i ever saw him attack a human was when the vet shoved a themometer up his bum.... even wounded the bugger could shred flesh with ease....

apologies for length.....
(, Fri 8 Jun 2007, 13:07, Reply)

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