Fatdog and Adventure Ears, Part 1
I have a large variety of pets, and about a hundred stories on them, so I'll break this up into segments.

My girlfriend owns a Jack Russell, whose nicknames vary from Nub-tail to Mimsy to Lentil-brain, but we shall call her Adventure Ears for now. (Explanation: my sister's daughter has a great dane, and when the dog starts feeling rowdy she shakes her massive head around until her ear flips inside out, indicating that she's ready for an Adventure. If she shakes her head a lot and both her ears get inside out, she's ready to tear the house apart- so my sister has declared that no Adventure Ears are allowed in her house. As a Jack Russell tends to think that it's basically a great dane, we have the same problem.)

The other dog is mine, a rescue dog who we think is part corgi and part pekingese, and looks like a small ottoman with a nose. One of her various nicknames is Fatdog, as she's wide enough that she can (and usually does) sleep on her back with all four feet in the air.

We also have two cats- Thai is an old Siamese who's invariably laid back and snuggly, and mostly sits around looking stoned. Josephine is my cat, a long furred black beast with bright yellow-green eyes (think of your stereotypical Halloween cat and you'll be pretty much spot-on), and is Not Amused by these other animals- hence her nickname, the Big Black Hissy Thing.

There's also a rabbit and a cockateil, but we'll get to those later.

Adventure Ears is excitable, and will develop an unholy fascination with certain things- garden hoses, whoopie cushions, kitchen tongs- and will either go ballistic over them or simply stand there vibrating like an epileptic as she stares fixedly at whatever it is. Unfortunately, one of those things that she does this with is the Big Black Hissy Thing.

One afternoon I let Adventure Ears outside, as she was whining at the door, then went to the kitchen to start making dinner. What I didn't know was that at the time the Big Black Hissy Thing was in the catnip patch, and had a serious buzz going.

What Adventure Ears didn't know was that you don't fuck with the Big Black Hissy Thing when she's on catnip.

I hear a sound like someone had just dropped a puppy into a pot of boiling water, and look out the window just in time to see Adventure Ears running for her life from what appeared to be a black mass of claws and teeth, who was making a sound worthy of Linda Blair. They circled the yard three times before Adventure Ears finally ran behind my girlfriend and hid with her nub firmly between her legs.

Did that teach the little Jack Russell Terrorist anything? Of course not... but it was enough to convince Fatdog to run inside and hide behind a chair.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 8 Jun 2007, 15:14, Reply)