Pet StoriesWhen one of my cats was younger and a lot fatter, he came bowling in from the garden with an almighty crash. Looking slightly stunned, he'd arrived into the kitchen having ripped the cat flap from the door and was still wearing it as a cat-tutu. Did I mention he was quite fat?
In honour of Jake, a well loved cat, who died on Wednesday, tell us your pet stories and cheer us up.
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chthonic, Fri 8 Jun 2007, 9:15)
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Never wank with your cat in the room, and here's whyWhen we were all 14, a pal of mine told me this story, then vehemently denied it when I passed it on to everyone we knew.
My friend was lucky enough to find that his parents and siblings were out of the house on evening, so he did what any fourteen year old boy would do in such a situation. He retired to the lounge, and began to watch Live TV on the big telly. While vigourously flagellating himself to Private Dancer, he noticed his fat ginger cat watching him on the couch. Unperturbed, he continued administering the pleasure-grip to his meat-snake. In the throes of passion he kicked out and somehow managed to startle the cat, how screeched in affront and darted away. At the crucial moment it seemed. My friend released a jet of man-custard across the room, spraying a line of pearly white jizz across the cat's flank. The cat howled in impotent rage and dissappeared out the back door. Then my friend had to catch the cat, and wash it before his parents came home.
(, Sat 9 Jun 2007, 3:20, Reply)
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