When I was small...
We had two cats, Minnie and Lottie. Lottie owned my brother, and Minnie was mine. Minnie never hurt anyone, alhough she was a great hunter. Lottie was... well, imagine a small furry chainsaw. The two of them were inseperable.

One house we had, we lived next door to an old people's home. The cats used to spend a lot of time there, as old people are happy to sit all day and fuss the cats. One day, the woman who ran the granny farm came round to complain that our cats dug up her flower beds.

"Er..." said my Dad. "Don't you have a dog?"

She did. Turns out the cats had showed it who was boss, and left it at that. We had no idea. Until the day that the dog jumped over the fence into our garden. The cats were having none of this one. Minnie did a dying swan routine in the middle of the garden, so the dog takes off after her. Meanwhile, there's no sign of Lottie. I was outside watching this, thinking 'Odd... No Lottie." Two laps of the garden, Minnie goes past a tree. The one Lottie was hiding in. Lottie does a Para-style flying leap onto the dog's neck, and manages a perfect 5-point landing. The dog howls in panic. Minnie spins around and bundles in too. One absolutely *massive* pasting later, the dog tries to make a break for it. But our garden is lower, and he can't get back over the fence... We go round next door and ask them to come rescue the dog.

Stupid dog did this twice more. Then one day, both cats come in, dragging their bellies behind them, both wearing big grins. They flop down on a bed somewhere. Next door starts putting up posters about a missing dog. WTF? Our cats *ate* an Alsatian? Seems so.
(purplegod counting down for Christmas!, Sat 9 Jun 2007, 10:21, Reply)