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When one of my cats was younger and a lot fatter, he came bowling in from the garden with an almighty crash. Looking slightly stunned, he'd arrived into the kitchen having ripped the cat flap from the door and was still wearing it as a cat-tutu. Did I mention he was quite fat?

In honour of Jake, a well loved cat, who died on Wednesday, tell us your pet stories and cheer us up.

(, Fri 8 Jun 2007, 8:15)
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Guinea Pigs
We have five guinea pigs in a massive cage in our kitchen. They are all very sweet, and you would be surprised what the little fat balls of fluff get up to.

They each have individual personalities. There is Fidget, the matriarch and badass of the group. She is teddy bear sized, and acts like one when you hold her. Second in command is Gizmo, so called because she has the same colours as said Gremlin. Next is Davina, who got very fat very quickly once we got her. Then Mo, who has a flatter face and coughs a lot but sports a mean karate kick. I have seen her plant a perfect high kick into the chin of our last pig Twitch. Talking of which, Twitch is the youngest, a massive whiner (there is just constant whittering from her direction) and possibly special needs, due to the fact her eyes distinctly point in different directions and if the other Pigs annoy her she sticks her arse in the air and pisses at them.

They are partcularly cute when they settle down to sleep as they will roll onto their side slightly and stick their back leg out (or both if really relaxed) and resemble a somewhat banana shape. They also sleep with their eyes open. It is quite amusing to stick your head right up close to them, and make a slight noise, at which point they wake up and pretty much crap themselves. Not that that is unpleasant, as their poos are shaped like small torpedoes and generally consist of digested hay.

However, by far the weirdest and oddest things they do, are the actions they go through to work out their hierachy and dominance. The main dominance behaviour, which happens approximately every two weeks (I guess the equivilent of the guinea pig blob) is called rumble-strutting. This consists of on heat pig essentially going into slow motion, making a noise like a road drill, and wiggling their arse side to side. If someone really needs to show dominance though, they will mount and hump another pig. They are all girls and I have to say, it is slightly disturbing to witness girl on girl guinea pig action...

Length? About 8 - 12 inches and very hairy.

PS. they are so funky they even have their own website: www.rockinguineas.co.uk
(, Wed 13 Jun 2007, 0:06, Reply)

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