"It was a good half ounce, officer..."
I was at Tottenham Court Road Underground station one evening, riding the escalator to the exit. Just as we reached the top, the guy in front of me whipped something out of his pocket and slapped it on the side of the escalator.

Being a nosy sort of git, I picked it up. It was a lump of dope resin, wrapped in cling-film. Bloody hell I thought, then looked up to see about eight policemen and two sniffer dogs right in front of the ticket gates. The dogs are already going nuts, barking at me and I was about to be arrested for someone else's drugs.

I thought about it for a millisecond and then did the only obvious thing to get me off. I pointed at the guy who was just exiting the ticket gates and declaimed loudly "I've got that man's drugs!"

He got nicked, still feel a bit bad about that but it was him or me and they *were* his drugs. I really don't think that the line "I've just found it this minute, I thought it was a toffee, honest" would have worked, despite being 100% true.

The police asked me to give a statement and I described the whole thing, word by word. The policeman asked me "What size was the object you picked up off the escalator?"

All I'll say is, the response "It was a good half ounce, I reckon officer" was the wrong one. Arrange the words Cavity, Search and Body into the sentence of your choice...

If the situation ever arises and you are asked to estimate the size of a drug find, describe it in inches or centimetres, not weight or street value...
(Wascally Weasel now with 100% fewer jokes., Thu 22 Sep 2005, 12:36, Reply)