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This is a question The Police

Sitting in my local pub late one night enjoying the landlord's flexible idea of what constitutes his licencing hours, a bunch of drunk blokes in raincoats burst in. Requesting to be served, one shouted at the barman "It's alright - we're not coppers!"

They were spitting images of Lt. Columbo to a man. The barman laughed them out of the pub.

(, Thu 22 Sep 2005, 10:12)
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Mirror, Signal, Maneuver
Some years ago, just across Selsdon traffic lights outside Croydon High school for Girls. On my way to the pub for a quick lunchtime pint with a mate and we're in my car stuck behind some amazingly slow bus. I grow increasing impatient, then angry, and after a few moments hesitation just think "sod it". I pull out into the middle of the street and accelerate past the slow moving bus at break-neck velocity and go roaring up the hill.

Seconds later this cop car comes screaming up behind me with all lights blazing and sirens on full volume. My heart sinks as I realise the coppers are not wanting to pass me, but are in fact pulling me over. I'm asked to step out of the vehicle and am asked if I know why I've been stopped. I think about this for a few moments and mention that I might have broken the speed limit.

"I'll tell you what you've done," says the Copper. "You didn't indicate before you pulled out. You crossed the chevrons in the middle of the street. You broke the speed limit. You overtook the bus going through a pelican crossing... outside a school... at lunchtime. But do you know what the worst thing is?"

I'm visibly shaking at this point. I tell him I don't.

"You didn't check your rear-view mirror before you pulled out, cos if you had, you would have seen we were right behind you."

Apparently I'd just achieved 13 points worth of driving offenses in 10 seconds. I swear the only thing that got me off with a warning was the fact I was clearly shitting myself in front of him and could hardly stop my teeth chattering.

(, Thu 22 Sep 2005, 14:32, Reply)

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