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This is a question The Police

Sitting in my local pub late one night enjoying the landlord's flexible idea of what constitutes his licencing hours, a bunch of drunk blokes in raincoats burst in. Requesting to be served, one shouted at the barman "It's alright - we're not coppers!"

They were spitting images of Lt. Columbo to a man. The barman laughed them out of the pub.

(, Thu 22 Sep 2005, 10:12)
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So I'm on my way home after a few jars down the pub, hacking it along a stretch of road notorious for speeding. I'm doing about 50 in a 30 zone, and realise with horror that I've just sped past a very small, well hidden side-street that seemed to contain something that looked very similar to a police car with its doors open. I slam the brakes on and stare intensely at my rear-view mirror to see if the car pulls out. After 15 seconds or so, I see the police car pull out.

Not wanting to take any chances, I took the fastest left off the main road I could find and began zig-zagging through an absolulte maze of a residential area. I literally trundle around for as long as I can before working my way back to the main road, a good 2 miles further on from the point I turned off. I approach the main road and stop at the mini-roundabout to let a car go past that looked exactly like a police car... the very police car I'd just performed evasive maneuvers to avoid.

Imagine how I feel, trailing behind the very coppers I'd tried to avoid as they deliberately drive at 25mph. Sure enough, they pull over and I have no choice but to carry on past. They pull out behind me, lights on, and I'm pulled over.

I get the usual questions. Do I know what speed I was doing? Do I know that was a 30 zone? Where am I headed etc etc. Finally they ask me why I pulled off the main road only to rejoin it 2 miles later. I figured a bit of humour might go down well at this point so I say "basically because I knew you'd seen me speeding and didn't want to get involved in a high-speed car chase with helicopters, sirens and flashing lights".

The copper looks at me for a moment, takes a step back and gives my car a once over. He then points to his own car.

"You see that? That's a modified Volvo S70 T5 2.3 litre turbo. Son, you would have lost."

I was let off with a warning but deep down I knew the rusty 1.1 litre Fiesta I was driving at the time could have had him.

(, Thu 22 Sep 2005, 15:05, Reply)

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