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This is a question The Police

Sitting in my local pub late one night enjoying the landlord's flexible idea of what constitutes his licencing hours, a bunch of drunk blokes in raincoats burst in. Requesting to be served, one shouted at the barman "It's alright - we're not coppers!"

They were spitting images of Lt. Columbo to a man. The barman laughed them out of the pub.

(, Thu 22 Sep 2005, 10:12)
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Actually officer...
Just to give this story a bit of context, it was a couple of weeks before one of my mate's 18th, and being skint we knew we couldn't get him a present. He told us that no present would be necessary, but we would have failed him as friends if he didn't wake up on the day of his 18th with a traffic cone in his bed.
We soon located a worthy cone, and to make it look more celebratory, a couple of days before the event, we tied balloons to it.

Fast forward, and its the day before his birthday, as his actual 18th was to be spent in the pub, but he wanted to include the underage folk in the festivities. We arrange to gather at a beach shelter-type thing. I bring the birthday cone, but for fear of all things illegal, decide the best course of action would be to bring it in a bag, a bloody big camping rucksack to be precise.

Upon arrival I present him with his masterful present, but he leaves it in the bag for safekeeping, and also I give him another balloon with "I'm 18, get me booze" written on it, in biro, which he ties around his neck (not in a deadly way, he just needed somewhere to keep ot out of the way for his drinking). My own, limited, stash of pre-bought booze is placed somewhere in a random backpack. At this moment the police decide to appear from nowhere, and ask us all to empty our bags. The older ones of the group claim the alcohol is theirs, so as to avoid trouble. Then they see the big camping bag.

Thinking they are obviously going to get somewhere with this they pompously ask my friend what is in the bag. Or more to the point they assume the bag is brimming with alcohol. My friend, not wanting his birthday ruined simply replies:

"Actually officer its a traffic cone with balloons tied to it, and the some of the alcohol is mine, see it's my 18th birthday!"
He shows them the balloon, and according to Hampshire constabulary this is sufficient identification of age, so they plod on their merry way.
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 20:17, closed)

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