Two stories
No. 1: As a hospice nurse, I have to report any death at home to the Medical Examiner (coroner) and the local police. One time I went to pronounce someone and amidst the sobbing relatives, I call the dispatcher and explain a lady had died. "Fine, we'll send a car right out." was the reply.

Somehow the message had not been passed along. The police only heard 'dead body on site, perpetrator still there' and came with lights, sirens, guns drawn and screaming "GET DOWN! GET DOWN!"


All of them but the rookiest officer left in a hurry when I explained why the dead body was a 99 year old lady comfortably ensconced in a bed.


No. 2: A certain person in the military police told me this story. (I'll deny it with my last breath)

An Iraqi had been caught on the streets after curfew. The MP was teaching the Baghdad police standard interrogation techniques and got exasperated with the prisoner. The guy tearfully stuck to his story and they couldn't shake him. (Amazingly enough, he was telling the truth and really had been trying to get home from his brother's house when he was caught. Imagine that!)

The MP says, "You guys sit here and chill. I'm gonna get a cup of coffee." When he returns, he walks in on the prisoner hanging by his knees from a pipe with his hands trapped painfully under his legs as the police are screaming at him and hitting him with sticks. The Staff Sargeant explodes, "What the FUCK are you doing!?" and cuts the poor guy down saying "Aseef, aseef!" ("Sorry, dude.")

He worked for a time in the Abu Ghraib police station, not the prison. He was transferred before the horrible shit came out.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 23:03, Reply)