Greenwich Park Police Fun
One time I was with my Finnish mates getting shitfaced in Greenwich park for the May Day holiday (ask any Finn about "Vappu" and they'll give you a knowing look).

Anyways, after quite a bit of beer, gin and also half a bottle of champagne a bunch a chavs turn up and ask us things like "Gis some of ya beer mate?" to which we replied in the negative (i.e. "fuck off"...there were about 15 of us, some were pro ice-hockey players so we could act as hard as we liked).

So, chavs duly get bored at the lack of generousity from us and bugger off, leaving us to enjoy what was left of the booze and bask in the view of the Naval College.

Suddenly one of the girls with us (Anu) says "my mobile's gone missing". Putting 2 and 2 together me and my mate get up and start to leg it after the chavs (who by now were bloody miles away...). We, or rather I managed to grab one just outside Blackheath gate (if you know Greenwich park..its miles away from the Naval Museum where we were sitting), much to the joy of a local cricket club who's pitch the chavs had just walked over whilst they were playing.

Putting the little scrote in an armlock I march him back into the park to "meet" my hockey-playing mates, but before I got back I spotted a Royal Parks police car approaching and flag 'em down.

After explaining the situation to the copper (the kid was now slammed in the back seat, positively bricking it)and after a quick drive to unsuccessfully find scrote's mates I get dropped back in the park.

Copper says that he can't actually "do" anything as we didn't specifically see who took the phone, so I say "fair enough...can you just make sure that he'll think twice about nicking stuff in the future" to which Mr. Plod replies "oh, yes!!" (with a big shit-eating grin on his face).

I start walking back to meet my mates and as I'm passing the Royal Observatory, the adrenaline of the chase wears off and the mix of alcohol in my gut suddenly makes a reappearance..I promptly throw up infront of fecking LOADS of tourists who didn't seem too impressed. At this point I'm well embarrassed and trying unsuccessfully to not continue emptying my stomach.

So, I'm totally fecked off, knackered and almost dying with shame and finally catch up with the mates in the Trafalgar pub.

I told them all about what had happened to which one replies...

"Anu hasn't lost her phone...she gave it to me in case she lost it cos she was so pissed!".

Needless to say I was NOT impressed- especially seeing that I left my coat in the cop car and had to go to the cop shop the next day to pick it up feeling rather sorry for the kid and wondering what the copper did to him.

Cherry...popped...length....long (sorry)
(MonkeyFunker, Tue 27 Sep 2005, 14:02, Reply)