How could I have forgotten this one earlier...
One of two encounters with plod in my mis-spent youth, the other being when I very cleverly got done for drink-driving on a deserted country lane late at night (and about 20 metres away from where i was going), was when me and a couple of mates went to buy some smoke from an acquaintance.

Just after the transaction has been made and we've all got our puff (and in one bloke's case, three pills), we're suddenly surrounded by the most coppers i've ever seen in one place in the town (aside from the cop shop or cake shop across the road from it), and told to "keep our hands where they could be seen".

So i'm carted off in the paddy wagon with the other two, we're all fairly bricking it, most of all the chap with the pills. We're booked in at the station, individually strip-searched and put in separate cells.

Eventually i'm interviewed and let out at about 3am. So I wait outside for my mate who had the pills, the other bloke having been interviewed earlier and set free.

After about 45 minutes, the most off-chops person i've ever seen stumbles out of the police station, and we head off.

As it transpires, when the cops took him in for his strip-search, they started off by getting him to empty out his pockets. When he threw the 1/2oz of smoke on the cell bed, both coppers looked at it, giving him enough time to stuff the three pills wrapped in clingfilm down his neck.

What then happened would go some way to explaining why he was ringing the bell to be let out for a smoke or to have some water every five minutes, and would totally explain the bizarre game of I-Spy we played through the small gap in the cell doors.

He played me the interview tape a few days later, I don't think i've ever laughed so hard in my life.
(squirrelysquirrel, Tue 27 Sep 2005, 16:03, Reply)