The PoliceSitting in my local pub late one night enjoying the landlord's flexible idea of what constitutes his licencing hours, a bunch of drunk blokes in raincoats burst in. Requesting to be served, one shouted at the barman "It's alright - we're not coppers!"
They were spitting images of Lt. Columbo to a man. The barman laughed them out of the pub.
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chthonic, Thu 22 Sep 2005, 10:12)
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On an annual jaunt to Donington Monsters and Rock festivalThings had started off as they meant to carry on - as we hit the A12 my mate kindly asked me to open the glove box of the Sierra we were driving and get him a drink - inside was a can of lager, a bottle of lime and a pint glass. I obliged and we drove up north.
During the day we stopped off to see some friends at another boozer, and whilst as passenger I decided to tank it, my mate was slightly more responsible and kept below the limit.
Later that day, we were passing Grantham on the A1, nothing on the road but three caravan drivers all in the outside lane being twats and doing 45 mph as only they can, so my pal decides to undertake the three of them. We fly past only to hear sirens as a patrol car witnesses our alternative to the highway code. We are promptly pulled over and on seeing the empty cans in the footwell of the car, my mate is asked to accompany the officers to take a breath test. After a few minutes the other officer comes over to the Sierra and gets in and asks a rather pissed up me if I understand what is going on. I explain that the police must have taken umbrage at my mates daring race past those pesky caravanners and nicked him. The officer then pointed out that my mate had in fact failed a breath test and had been arrested and we were heading for Grantham Polic e HQ. The officer then asked about all the empty beer cans in the footwell, to which I replied they were all mine (they were bar one) - I then enquired if it was illegal for passengers to drink beer in a car - upon being told it was not I reached about behind the drivers seat, produced a half-drunk can of beer and said "well you'll have no objection if I finish this one then" and proceeded to finish the can whilst the dismayed yet powerless officer could only drive on.
My mate later passed the test at the station (though did lose his license a week later for being off the scale on a speed gun on his bike - he was doing about 140)
(, Wed 28 Sep 2005, 10:57, Reply)
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