The PoliceSitting in my local pub late one night enjoying the landlord's flexible idea of what constitutes his licencing hours, a bunch of drunk blokes in raincoats burst in. Requesting to be served, one shouted at the barman "It's alright - we're not coppers!"
They were spitting images of Lt. Columbo to a man. The barman laughed them out of the pub.
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chthonic, Thu 22 Sep 2005, 10:12)
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The stories below remind me ..One night, I had to drive from London to Derbyshire. It was about 4am, and I was in the middle of some moors somewhere.
Just after I went through a very small village and out the other side, I noticed a pair of headlights were tailgating me, very close to my rear bumper. I slowed down to a crawl to let them overtake, and they slowed down as well. I sped up, and they sped up. I could just make out that the car was a dark coloured Ford. Anyway, I was starting to get a bit freaked, as we were in the middle of nowhere, and I appeared to have acquired a psychotic stalker - a la Stephen King's 'Duel'.
So I did what any self respecting person would do - I put my foot down. The car behind stuck to me like glue though, driving alarmingly close to my back bumper.
This went on for some time, and we got faster and faster, and I got more and more freaked. Then - we came to another small village. I though 'Thank fuck - civilisation! Just before I reached the roundabout, one Police car appeared behind me, one infront, and, as I pulled over, ANOTHER appeared alongside and completed the boxing in process. They all jumped out, and I was suddenly surrounded by 3 squad cars (all lights flashing) and 6 policemen.
Then - this plain-clothes woman (who turned out to be some kind of superior officer) jumped out of the now parked psycho-Ford-car saying something like;
'That's him! He must be drunk, or on drugs, from the way he was swerving all over the road, and the SPEED he was DRIVING AT! I've been following him for the last 10 miles. Breathalyse him. Now'.
I was breathalysed. Clear. Asked to walk in a straight line. Clear. I was also fucking furious. I told her, infront of all her subordinates, that she was a complete idiot for doing what she did, and what did she fucking expect me to do at 4am, in the middle of nowhere? What if I had been a woman? Why was she driving so close? I actually saw a couple of coppers in the backgroung cracking a sympathetic smile at my outburst.
Anyway - I was sent on my way without so much as an apology.
Sorry about that. Had to get it off my chest.
(, Wed 28 Sep 2005, 11:10, Reply)
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