What they never show you on TV...
You know the Enforcer the cops have for smashing people's doors in? How they always show the door being smashed in in one go? It's not always like that in real life as my brother-in-law (does he count as one if he's married to my sister?) once told me.

Picture the scene. It is early morning, and a bunch of coppers are on a drug bust, bright and early. The newest guy, fresh out of training and still weedy as buggery, is volunteered to smash the door down by his kindly senior officer, so he accepts the challenge with glee, as who hasn't wanted to smash stuff for a living at one point or another?

He steps up to the door, and looks back at his mates (my bro-in-law included), and takes a massive swing...

...And cocks up...

...By managing to put a hole in the middle of the door, thus ensuring that the door still remains upright and mostly undamaged. The other coppers start laughing at this, so he does what any self-respecting man would do.

So he takes another swing.

The door remains resolutely upright, albeit with an additional air hole that wasn't there ten seconds ago. Much laughter is heard at this point.

He takes a final swing, and the door decides that it isn't going down, and instead, remains resolutely upright. At this point, every other copper is rolling on the floor laughing, and my bro-in-law regains enough composure first to take the Enforcer and smash the door in himself and carry out the raid.

Good times.
(Ghost Atreides enjoying incontestable health benefits on, Fri 6 May 2011, 10:14, 4 replies)

you're right. your sister's husband is your brother-in-law
so is your wife's brother, and your wife's sister's husband.
(leviticus no longer likes the cut of your gib on, Fri 6 May 2011, 11:53, closed)

Cheers
Wasn't entirely sure on what to call the connection.
(Ghost Atreides enjoying incontestable health benefits on, Fri 6 May 2011, 13:12, closed)

This bloke I met once?

( Sextant goes to him is emotionally erect, on this day, Fri 6 May 2011, 17:19, closed)

For some weird reason
the door on my porch opens outwards and is a uPVC affair. If they tried to use that thing, it would puch it IN to the frame, rather than opening it.

Having said that, the door is a bit crap so I'd like them to do this and then pay for a replacement.
( M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Fri 6 May 2011, 13:42, closed)