First of many
stories I have relating to the Airport Police in the international airport I used to work in. The first is the tale of the toilet ticker.

My old job was one were I needed access to every single part of the airport so I was one of the few types of employees with an access all areas identity card. As such a lot of work was done "airside" were only ticket holders and passengers arriving to the airport could be.

Now Airport police are your typical plastic policeman. They're either failed Garda wannabes or retired Garda. On this faithful day I had went into the toilets on airside in the area were you collect your bag to relieve myself of my fry from early morning.

Sitting down in the cubicle I was somewhat perturbed by the ticking noise emanating from my delicate pink ring area. Jumping up I peered under the toilet and found a small cardboard cube held together with masking tape; it was fucking ticking. Sprinting from the jacks at near light speed despite still being in the process of zipping up I went to the security point.

Only to find to most grizzled, tiny, scruffiest old fart of an Airport Police sat in the booth. Hastily explaining the situation he sighed and heaved himself up and began to shuffle at an agonizing pace towards the toilet. When we got there what seemed to be a year later he asked me to pinpoint the offending item. I duly did from the other side of the toilet.

He bent down glaring at it and then fucking reached out and picked it up. Frozen in panic I watched as he shook the box and grunted a laugh. "Fuck me it is tickin an all; better bring it down da station and see what the lads think". And then off he went, shuffling off towards the exit as I struggled with the concept of trying to breath again.
( dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Sat 7 May 2011, 15:39, 2 replies)

lummy!
And what was the outcome?
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Sat 7 May 2011, 21:18, closed)

I doubt the real ones would tick
Far easier to get a cheap digital watch and wire it to the hour buzzer.
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Sat 7 May 2011, 21:36, closed)