I'm surprised
this QOTW hasn't oroduced more "old people are racist" answers.

So...my friend's granny is walking down the road in Torquay, a particularly homogenous part of the UK, where white old people make up a significant proportion of the population. A black family walks past in the other direction.

"There's a lot of nig nogs out today, aren't there?"

*spluttering*

"Nan, you can't say things like that any more"

"Why?"

"Nan, you haven't been able to say things like that for about 25 years. Catch up a bit, would you?"

In the car this evening, in Paris, behind a small white van at the lights: (my translation of the driver's french)

*light goes green*

"What's wrong with you? Get going, arsehole, what are you waiting for? It's not going to get any greener than that!"

*finally moves off*

*we pull alongside, window comes down, head out of window*

"Wanker! What the hell are playing at? Who gave you your licence then?"

*overtake completed, window back up*

"It's normal, he was a bit black"

What? My wife's family pretend not to be racist, but they're French - who's going to believe them?


Last one:

An usher, at a court on the Northern Circuit, back in the Seventies, was well known for his incorrectness.

At the time, pretty much everyone swore on the Bible before giving evidence. Muslims and other assorted "ethnics" eventually started appearing in court as immigration reached that part of the world.

They would obviously prefer to swear an oath on the Koran -- not having one, this usher would simply wrap a Bible in a tea-towel, hand it to the witness, and tell them it was a Koran.

I'm sure you'll be pleased to know that courts these days have a veritable library of miscellaneous Holy Texts for all varieties of religions.
(Exiled Youth [witty comment], Sun 25 Nov 2007, 22:18, 8 replies)

I've often wondered
what do atheists swear on in court?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Sun 25 Nov 2007, 22:28, closed)

They just swear,
the dirty sinners.
(Tip-Top Tomcat but you can call me Tommo, Sun 25 Nov 2007, 22:36, closed)

K2k6,
they don't swear, they do something else. I can't remember what the word is and I'm trying to find out.

EDIT: affirm.
( Bob Todd whee, Sun 25 Nov 2007, 22:38, closed)

Thanks to Bob Todd
and now Wikipedia, that's one more mystery in my life cleared up. I learn something new every day on b3ta!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Sun 25 Nov 2007, 22:46, closed)

yeah
the filthy heathens can solemnly "swear and affirm" -- everyone will be doing that once I become Prime Minister and turn this country into a secular republic.
(Exiled Youth [witty comment], Mon 26 Nov 2007, 7:05, closed)

friend of mine
who's a barrister was in court once when the witness was a sikh (at least, i think it's sikhs who have the holy book that can only be touched by clerics, apologies if not!).

it took them ages to find the only copy in the court so this guy could swear on it.

not knowing any better, the usher removed it from the velvet bag before handing it to the witness...... therefore defiling it and meaning it couldn't be used. they had to postpone the trial whilst trying to find another sacred text in manchester.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 26 Nov 2007, 9:38, closed)

Exiled Youth...
You'd get my vote - if you vowed, when becoming PM, to turn this country into a secular Monarchy :)
(EuroSong I love horse meat: best of all the animals, Mon 26 Nov 2007, 9:42, closed)

i hear you on the french-racial thing
my girlfriend is french, although she's lived here for a decent chunk of her life and constantly complains about black people. constantly.

they are fucking awful drivers though, aren't they? ;-)
(notjustahatrack peeling a sausage..., Wed 28 Nov 2007, 3:52, closed)