My mate Gav used to go out with a girl with very scary hair
If you buried a lump of coal in this girl’s curly golden locks then returned to have a rummage round a few minutes later you’d have yourself a rather spiffy diamond because this girl sported the tightest most intense perm imaginable. And her hair was long so it bunched up above her heard afro-style. Factor in that she had freakishly pale skin and was a bit on the gangly side and you’d realize she could’ve passed for an albino member of the Harlem Globe Trotters circa 1972.

I just happened to be in a pub taking the piss out of Gav for this. “That girl. You know. The Kevin Keegan in drag girl? What the fuck were you thinking?”

To which he’d counter: “This from a bloke who used to fuck a girl we all nicknamed Manchild.”

Fair plays – he sort of had me there. So, with the score one-all in the taking-the-piss-out-of-who-you’ve-put-you’re-dick-in stakes, I decided to go to the bog for a much needed piss. I’m winding my way between the crowded tables and random punters stood about watching Sky Sports. Then a thought occurs to me. That girl, the girl with the perm from the sixth level of Hell, she looked more like a… Yep… Definitely… Hee… Hee…

Ha!!! I started laughing to myself. This was good. (OK, not that good, but I was about five pints in and way past giving a shit anymore).

Halfway to the bog I turned and shouted back at my mate Gav: “Oiiiiiii !!!” That got his attention. And also the attention of the rest of the drinkers in the near vicinity. “AT LEAST I’M NOT A SHEEP SHAGGER !!! YOU SHAGGED A SHEEP !!! HA !!! WHADDYA THINK ABOUT THAT???”

I had to leave pretty quickly after being threatened with death by several random strangers.

Wankers. Can’t a bloke accuse he’s mate of fucking a sheep in a public place anymore, I mean, what the fuck has the world come to???

OK, maybe next time I shouldn’t do it in a crowded pub in Cardiff on a Saturday night…
( SpankyHanky, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 13:30, 2 replies)

Bad move
You are lucky to have got out alive, those Welshers can be dangerous!

Says the woman who nearly got beaten up on a club in Cardiff in 1996!
( Rev. Jayneflakes Buy my book, I need the cash for drugs and hookers, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 13:33, closed)

That'll teach you to be on a club

( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 16:12, closed)