I'm no expert or owt, but I can't help wondering whether the really key phrases in your story are not "stag night", "female dancers" or "sex objects", but actually "a month or two" and "a few problems in her past"
If the problems she has previously had have left her with issues regarding trust or possibly slightly low self esteem, then her seemingly over the top reaction could be more readily understood, particularly at an early stage of a relationship before you really know each others characters/establish trust. She may have been imagining the worst whilst you were away and/or possibly thought that your recounting of the story was a highly sanitised version of the truth.

It does sound as though you genuinely like this girl and I wonder whether it might be worth sending a letter (letters giving you the chance to make sure you say everything you want to without getting sidetracked as can happen during highly charged dialogues)expressing what you feel about her and explaining that you had been absolutely honest with her, had been surprised/upset by her reaction and asking her, having had some time for reflection, whether based on the entirety of what she knows about you, she really considers you to be sexist.

Best wishes with it.

Apologies if this reads that I, in turn, am being sexist by naturally assuming that any "problem" must be on her side.
( Cave Duck, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 21:30, 2 replies)

Thanks for this
We've actually exchanged a few emails on the subject since she finished things. She still seems to be sticking to her guns. She's told me about some issues from her past that still haunt her, but she's indicated that there are a few more that she didn't get round to telling me about. The tone of her emails though have been quite cold and detached, so I don't really think that there's a way back now. I think I'll have to just chalk this one down to experience.

Cheers for the advice anyway.

RF
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 2 Apr 2010, 9:01, closed)

A real shame for you both.

( Cave Duck, Fri 2 Apr 2010, 20:37, closed)

fuck me
i had no idea Dear Deirdre was a b3tan. great advice but i can't help agreeing with others that this girl's issues are the cause here. why was she grilling you though and why for god's sake man did you tell the truth?
(Wagane, Sun 4 Apr 2010, 10:11, closed)

Ha
I don't know quite what happened, I was struck by the sincerity of the Reverend's post and then before I knew what was happening I came over all Claire Rayner. (Which is quite a feat.)
( Cave Duck, Tue 6 Apr 2010, 16:31, closed)

I think I've seen that video
It looked like Clair Rayner anyway. :-/
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 7 Apr 2010, 11:14, closed)

Good question actually.
I thought that honesty was the best policy. It was at the very low end of the scale of possible stag-weekend offences, and didn't realise that it would elicit that reaction. If I'd just said that nothing at all had happened, she probably wouldn't have believed me, and would just assume that I was hiding something much worse.

That would say far more about her than me I guess....but I just tried to be honest. I won't try that again! :-)
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 7 Apr 2010, 11:17, closed)