Four Candles
Last night my mum called and was trying to get some ideas as to what she could get my girlfriend and I for Christmas. I took the opportunity to ask her what she wanted from us,

"Oh, nothing too expensive, but I'd like four candles for the front room. I've seen some I like in Cargo"


I can't wait for Christmas day when she opens her present and realises I've got her......

... a dead worm.
(Monkey the Chicken Twitter: death_stairs, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 9:18, 10 replies)

Handles for forks
that is all
(nonstopdancer, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 9:20, closed)

Damm
Beat me to it.

Fork Handle is what you need to wrap up for comedy value.

Mr R.Barker would be smiling on xmas morning.
(amsterdam_neild, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 9:23, closed)

I think you missed....
...the 'joke'
(Monkey the Chicken Twitter: death_stairs, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 9:26, closed)

I Met Ronnie Corbett once...
...he was really short with me...
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Wed 2 Dec 2009, 9:29, closed)

Don't worry, I didn't
and then chuckled when I read the first two replies.
( Peej, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 9:44, closed)

same here
*high fives all round for smug superiority*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 10:58, closed)

i've missed
the joke but i'm still laughing at the fork handles one so is that ok?
(butterednuts broiling, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 17:53, closed)

Always been confused by the forkhandles joke inclusion in "best comedy moments evah"
I mean, I get it, it's just that it's a shit joke.
( rofl harris, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 12:42, closed)

Ha!
Tres good, sir. Tres good...
( SpankyHanky, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 12:58, closed)

Cargo on Tottenham Court Road is closing down
30% off everything
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 14:03, closed)