Fucking hippy aunt
My nana is quite the knitter, and when I was younger was always knitting me jumpers and cardigans, sometimes with a Teenage Mutant Hero Turtle on the back, which was my favourite show when I was about 6. They were great, and of a really high quality.

Now, around the Christmas that just passed, I was reminiscing with my dad over said jumpers, and how great they were, when he suggested that I should ask her to knit me another one for Christmas, and that she'd really love to. So I phone up my nana and ask her, and she sounded really, really enthusiastic about doing it. So I described to her what I'd like - black and green hoops - and how thick the stripes should be and the shade of green and so on, and she said she'd get cracking.

The build up to that Christmas was electric for me, I was so unbelievably excited about getting this jumper.

So Boxing Day rolls around, which is the day that my dad's side of the family goes over to my nana's house for a big roast (she's a mean chef too) and exchange jollities. In the front room we all sit, me, my mum, my dad and my sister, then my nana and grandad, then my cousins and my mental hippy aunt.

We start opening the presents, and then it comes to the package from my nana. I knew what was in it, and she knew what was in it. I open the paper and unfold the jumper. It was absolutely perfect; the hoops were exactly as thick as I'd imagined, the shade of green was the exact shade I'd have imagined, it even fitted me exactly, even though I didn't give her my dimensions. I could have exploded with joy, and the beaming look on my nana's face was incredible, just a look of pure pride.

Then came my hippy aunt's present.

A yoga calendar.

A fucking YOGA calendar. Worse still, one that she's selling to send my cousin to India for the summer.

I gave a performance worthy of DeNiro that year.

Apologies for length, but I really had to get that off my chest.
(scoob666 Ain't Nuthin' Ta F' Wit, Thu 23 Sep 2004, 13:13, Reply)