I nearly joined the Army
But I couldn't be bothered.

My entire teen years were filled with the idea of joining HM Armed Forces. I was a keep fit fanatic, was in the cadets, and looked forward to a career in the signals.

However, I got a job as a Dole Office clerk in the months before I was called-up, and found sitting on my arse doing nothing except weeding out fraud cases and paedos so much more fun.

I went up to Sutton Coldfield for the selection course, and haven't done a jot of exercise for the best part of a year, I completely failed the Basic Fitness Test on account of being a fat bloater who was living on cake and McDonalds. I actually FELL OFF the pull-up bar, and floundered around on the floor like the fat kid in PE class, before the instructor took pity on me, classifying me as "injured".

"Come back when your - err - injury clears up, lad"

I never did. Back to sitting in an office, drawing speed-cocks on official files. For twenty years.

I'd have regrets, but I can't be bothered with them, either.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 10:03, 3 replies)

SYB
Scary

Do you know what's going on with SYB? Has it been hacked or do you know if Nelson has had enough?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 11:36, closed)

Working now
He's on incrediby flaky servers

I blame the Twat-o-Tron
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 14:11, closed)

I'm just getting
Blah, blah, blah?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 14:18, closed)